THE MILITANT SOCIALIST'S CATECHISM.

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 52, 25 November 1907, Page 5

THE MILITANT SOCIALIST'S CATECHISM.

[For the instruction Af tlioso who seek to promote the eause'of Loyp, Unity, and Universal Brotherhood between Man ' and Man.] ;"■• ■'•'.••"■'■ -. ." ':.■-. ■-■• Question: Who'art "you? , " "■ [ Answer:.A militant Socialist. \,Q.: What is n .militant. Socialist? A.: An imperfectly educated, but omniscient, .young limn, who is the One and Only true ISxpo.nont of the Creed of Social Salvation. ■ ;., .__ ;•• - ; ,;• ; - Q.: Rehearse; the First .Article of yo.ur belief. ■'■'"■• ■■; '. ..' ■." ■ ' . A.: "Whosoever : .wiil'be saved, before all things it is necessary that ho. hold..tlio:Graysonian Faith. ■'~;..',.,..,... ,:.'.,',. ... .'. Q.: fSecpnd Articled.-... A.: "Which Faith, except a man do keep whole and undefiled, without .doubt he shall be stoned with Paving-Cobble's and poked with. Broken Bottles.""' ' : : '' Q.: What aro Paving-Cobbles" arid Broken Bottles? ... .;.,■;■; A.: They aro.tlie most'effective.Arguments in favour of Socialism that, we have to hand at the prosent -moment; but 1 am doing; my best to find others oven more convincing.- '. Q.: Specify, these <more\cdnvinciiig.i-ArgH-ments of which.you/arc;'in search... A.: Bowie-knives , , Bayonets, and Dum-dum Bullets. ' ■•,-.....-. - ...;..,. . . . . Q.: What is .the Third Article of thoGraysonian Faith? ■■' ''■ '■■ •, ■.'-.'. .. .;■ ' / A.: "Love, Peace, Concord, Unity, and Universal Brotherhood." .-.-; ~.;;.; '. . . Q.: What Is the Fourth Article ?-.•-:■ A.: "The Equalisation of Property, and tho State Ownership of' all '■-Industrial Undertakings." .;,-■'■ ~..(.•• ..... Q.: And tho/Fifth Article?'- ..,...;. A.: "War to the doath against all who disagree with us;." ■ , , Q.: How do;you reconcile this Answer with'. Article No. Ill;oif the.Gniysonian Faith? A. :■ By exterminating all who are at variance with us,..we , necessarily produce Love, Poaco, Concbnl, Unity, and Universal Brothorhood. Q.:How so? . . •.--'■■■ ■'■■■• A.': Because; 'Enmities can no longer exist when you have exterminated all your enemies. ..... , .. ~ , .-•. . .„.•, Q.: You spoke.just now-, of'the Equalisation of Property and. the State , Ownership of all Industrial Undertakings. Tell me, my good, youth, exactly by!' these terms ? A.: It is meant, that tho State will as'sunin; possession of all Capital. Land and other Real Property, and.will employ it for tho good of the Community at Large, compelling every, man to work. for.-his Living.and paying him a fixed Living Wage, to be determined by Act of Parliament. , -h- , ? , "-'" '■■>'? -y^'-T

Q.: What. Will ho the result.of this? A.:'A levelling down- of '•■m incomes of tho Ricte-and a .levelling up of the incomes of the Poor to a Common Standard. Q.: What is Thrift?; : ' -•-•.- .■] • A.: Tho faculty of saving money. ■:•■■ Q;: AVhat. is-the rcst:lt of Thrift? ■■''■ A.: The accumulation of Capital. ■••.. i Q.: "What' do! wo- call a mail who has accumulated Capitol? ■ i* .' ', "' '" A.: A Capitalist. ' : Q.: "What is a Capitalist?-' A.: A. bloated , ;' "overbearing;-and despicablo Ruffian, whom,.it., js tho,,duty,,pf.,the State to; despoil ruthless,ly,,bf 1115 ill-gflttcn gains. •• Q.: What is;;TJnthriftiiie'ss? '.'.•■' ''."-■' ' A.: The.propensity For squandering money. Q.: What is $10 result r of Unthriftiness ? A.:.To make a man indieeiit. . . . . Q.: What,is.an. Indigent, Man? ' ■ A.:.-An unfortunate,,but virtuous and doserving, Citizen,.-wjiqm it is tho Duty.of'the.. State to finance , 'jvjtji tho niouny taken from the thrifty and.calculating Capitalist. Q. : What are' Muscles? A.: The sou'r'cfl. of ■■physical strength with which Nature Ijn'sjqndo'wed men.. '.. .'. ~ Q.: What afe a ßrains? ' " ' .- , ' A.: Tho seatfjoTjjSUcb.-.undorstanding as'Na-, ture has bestowed., upon man. Q.: Has all men equally muscular?. . „-.-.,„■ , • ■ ■ . A. : No. ■ '~■:.. '~■:.. ' .....'■ "■ Q.:. Has Nature, 1 .all; men..equally ■brainy? . ... »H.',,io .... ~: , :■■■.• -\-.. v . y , ■ A.: No. In bo,tlj.'these .respects Nature has. been guilty of ..-many iniquitous, and invidious distinctions. r '- ■■■■ •■• i- ■ ..'..>.■■ Q.: Why tIc.VQU ,cn 11-.'thorn iniquitous? ■" A.: Becauso they vjplato the Cardinal, Gray-, Bonian? Principle , of Equality. Q. : H°w ,vils 't- tliat -Natiire 'came to do anything so unjust.- and.,preposterous as to endow some men more..,,,jipuntifully:. than Others? ■■••■; ;; ■!-;'.,;•-.-■ .' •; , : : A. :• Because I was' 'not'there to keep Na-' ture straight ranged.. ...... _ Q.: What wo.ii|d you have done if yon had been there? "'• ",.'•''".'■ ~:. :'■ j. A.: I would, quickly have, convinced: Nature ■of hor ridiculous "mistako by a score of unanswerable Arguments. . ".,'' . ' 0 ■'.. Q.: What Arguments? '~.'.'". .." . A.: Those illuminating argument's'.;of which I have »lTcady- spoken—Paving Cobbles and Broken Bottles. "' "•'.-■. " —From Lrt:ulori""Truth."