BUYING A PIANO.

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 45, 16 November 1907, Page 14

BUYING A PIANO.

Mrs. Hotty.Green, widow, was the sister of Farmer Ainsworth's wife, and consequently the aunt of Bessie Ainsworth, agad 18, and she had come over from Guilford on account of a pitiful letter received hi,n the girl. "Joel Ainsworth, it's a shame! You ha?e an innocent, trusting daughter here. You have promised her a piano and then brok;:i your promise! How can you expect her to keep innocent and trusting unless you buy her a piano? Tho lives of thousands an<l thousands of young girls aro wrecked eva.-y year for the want of some'iiing to thump on. "You want Bessie to crow" up to be a lady. How can rho unless she thumps? You want her to move in, liigh 'society. \Wiil high society accept anyone who' can't thu.np on a piano? "You want her to marry riches, but yea know yourself that if a -millionaire came along here and : stopped for a glass of buttermilk and was about-to fall in love with Bessie, the first thing ho would ask would bo if she could thump a piano. "1 say you ain't giving the girl a chanue, and if she runs away and puts on tights and walks tho wire at: a circus you alone will be to blame." "But when a feller's in debt and can't soo his way clear, how's ho to buy a piano?" asked Joel. ' ■ ■ ; ■ There was. a moment of silence, and then Aunt Hetty rose up. She also rose .to the occasion. There was a bright red spot •en cither cheek and a look of determination in her oyos as she.'dramatically .announced — ■ "Tho piano shall be bought I' Bessie shall be saved from the disappointment and tho early gravel Thank- heaven, I have come in ,timel" ' "Has something happened, Hetty?" askvd the farmer's wife in answer to tho declaration. ■■ . ■ ■ ' "Something has. Pve got ;; my widder's pension. Yes, sir; I've got the money rig'it .hero in my pocket, and to-morrow, morning me .and'Bessie'.will drive into Spoonersvilie and buy that piano. Joel, you can go, to ploughing; Haulier, you can bo'getting, the things ready for supper; Bessie, come to theso arms and feel that you have been drawn back from the yawning brink 'ot ruin." ■ ■ ■ , ■ ■."•./

Next .morning, after an early breakfast, tho cmiple set out behind tho old grey maro for Spoonersville. They were in jubilant spirits until half tho "distance had been covered. . Then, as tho ancient equino was slowly tolling up , , a long hill and/brushing-.at tho horse-flies that, wanted 'their share of th>-. graft, a sudden doubt_ crossed .Bessie's mind, and her heart-was in her''throat as she asked — ' . s "Aunt Hetty, do you know anything about pianos?" "What!" answered the old lady as she bobbed in her seat. "Do I know anything about pianos ?_ Well, - if 1 didn't, would that wiclder's pension' have come? .Would I have had (this wad of money? Would I !.e here driving this old mare, who wants to get the lines under her tail and have an excuse to kifik the dashboard in? ■ You might just as-weir ask me if I knew anything about apple sass or pumpkin pies! ~ "Hasn't Mrs. Wharton, next door to me in Guilford, got a.piano? Didn't I.help her move it one time when the moths got in the carpet under it? Didn't I tell her that it was too high for a wood box, and not low enough for a wash bench? Don't you go to worrying! ■'".'■ "You leave this tl.ing to me. I've been dealing with lightning-rod men, tin pedlars, norsc thieves, and murderers all my life, and they are not going to get ahead of mo now. Humph! I rather guess not!" There was only one r pianq store in the town of Spoonersville, and, that was kept by a man who was also an undertaker. He was a very sad and solemn-looking man. One had only to glance at him to feel sure that lio had never stolen harvest. apples or tied tin cans to clogs' tails. , Hassie was rather taken aback by tho man's solemn expression, but Aunt Hetty braced right up to him, and began—. "I'm Hetty Green, the widder,. from Guilford. Relict of Darius Green, you know. Died with the colic about, threo years ago. Went to bed one night feeling just as chipper as y6u do now, and at midnight gare one yell and was a goner." ,• "l'-e-s?" replied the piano man. "Death is a solemn thing.* , "And so is buying a piano. That is, if the dealer to cheat me. This is »iy niece, Bessie Ainsworth. She wants something to thump on to save her life from being ruined;"

"Ah, yes! You want a piano. Will you look at an upright or square?" "I'm an upright woman; and. any pia'io I buy has got' to be the same., I want no downright pianos about mo. I had a parrot once who used to swear, and, do you know, it had such 'an effect on me that I had to give him away. I got so that I would_ say 'darn it!' right before the preacher!" • "This is a very sweet-toned instrument, , ' ho said as ho paused before one and ran his hand over the keys, "and you can see for yourself what tho case is." ■

"But there are only four legs," protested Aunt. Hetty. "Only four, of course. How many woild you have?" . ; ... "I'd sorter got my mind made up on six or seven, but mebbo four will do. I somehow like to look across a .room and see a temple of piano logs, lint that 'may bo .just a whim of mine this one got what they call a resounding'board?" "A sounding board?. Yes." "And it's perfectly sound? No knotholes or weak spots?" "Perfectly sound, ma'am." "And about the paddles? I've heard that the paddles had a good deal to do with the piano, though 1 don't know why they should. Jt hain't meant to drive along in the water like a steamboat." "You mean the pedals, ma'am. This one has both a soft and hard, pedal. Would you like me to play something for you?" "If it hain't, too much trouble. Lcmmo r,ee what I want. Have you got any pieces by. Mose Hart? I heard Mrs. Wharton play one once, and -ray knees trembled and tears came into my eyes. I expected to have the nightmare that night, but catnip tea saved me!" "I should like to have buried your husband,"'said tho dealer, aftnr puzzling ovar . Mose Hart," and'finally deciding she ieforred to Mozart, lie sat 'down to play a few chords. • t "Yes," sighed Aunt Hetty, "ho gave onq shriek and died, and there was fifty-two wagons and buggies in the funeral procession. Is there an alarm, clock attached to this piano?" "No, ma"am. w "Don't it sing?" "The player is supposed to do the singing." "Mrs. Wharton was telling me that if she eould get rid of her old piano she'd buy ,\ now one with a refrigerator attached. Is there one eoes with this? You mieht as

well havo your butter keeping cold when yof aro playing, you know." "Should you marry again and your lius« band died 1 can conduct the funeral to your satisfaction," replied the man, after lookiutf atjier in a vacant way for two minutes. "Then thore's no refrigerator attache! I Jim Bernard's daughter was telling nio that if she ever traded her piano she would get one with telephone attached. When you play everybody for forty miles around can listen. Moths never get into a piano, do they?" ■ ' .' "Neither moth nor rust doth corrupt,' , answered the dealer, as he rolled up hil oyos. "Well, Bessie, what do you think?" asked Aunt Hetty, as she turned .to the girl. ■.' " It s a beautiful one," was the whispered ro l'ly- , . _ "I'll tell you what , Joe Herbert was saying a few days ago," said the widow, as she. turned to tho dealer. "He's only a hirad man, but he's got a smart head on ' him. Ho said that the day would come ■when you could attach a washing-machine to a piano 'nd have all the washing done while you was playing 'Old Black Joe' over throe times. ' ■ ■ . ■ "Ho also thought there would be a sew-lng-machino attachment, and that persons would be playing some of Mose Hart's pieces and hemming towels at the'same time. Anything of that kind out yet?" • ■ ; • "Nothing, ma'am, and if you should lose los» any friend by-death after this please say to the surviving relatives that my terms aro very low and I always provide : extra chairs." ■■•' " "I'll remember it. How much for -this piano?" ■ ■ ■ . ■ "Three hundred and fifty dollars,'ma'am, and no other undertaker in the. country uses fly-nets oil his horses in the summer."' ' "Three hundred and fifty dollars 1" shouted Aunt Hetty, whilo Bessie' gave- a gasp of astonishment and despair. "took a-here. mister, I'm the widder Green. My husband was in the war, and he fit and. fit and fit.and I've just got a widder's pension. Don't try to rob me. Don't, think I don't know » villain when I sec one. I'll give you just'so dollars." ' ; .. . "Only the cost; of one of tho legs, ma v ara, and I make no extra charge for funerals held .on holidays." "I might como up to 60 dollars, rather than disappoint my niece, but I'll be snummed if Igo beyond that." : '■..'"■" "I couldn't think of.it for three times 60 dollars, and some are cut down like the grocn bay tree." ■ ' "Then, monster!" replied Aunt Hetty,, as she struck her dramatic attitude—'.'then, thou villainous wretch and deceiver,"'".we (Jo! Wo go never to return. We go never to give you tho job of burying any of our dead 'husbands.. We 1". And they went, to a stationer's and boncht a mouth-organ for 25 cents, and while Bessie drove the old maro on the return home and the dust. of tho highway mingled with her tears of disappointment, Aunt Hetty sawed the music-maker across ' her mouth, shuffled her feet, and called out at inter-' vals— . ..."■' "First four forward and back! Ladies chango 1 Forward and salute!' Swing '. your partners and all promenade I , Say, Bessie, the villain has been ■ foiled, , virtue . h?.a triumphed, and we've even got.a bettei thing than a piano, and don't have to do anything but sit still and blow!"—" Boston Globe." . ..,..'.'' ;• '■