NOTHING DOING.

Cromwell Argus, Volume LXIV, Issue 3342, 26 November 1934, Page 2

NOTHING DOING.

Two Scots were mountaineering in Switzerland, when one of them slipped and fell intr a crevasse. The other, peering over the edge, saw his companion almost holding on by his fingernails. “Are ye a’ richt, Macphersou?” shouted the man in safety. “No exactly that,” said the other, “but if ye run down to the village an’ get a rope I’ll try to hang on here till ye come back. Hurry, for Heaven's sake!” His companion disappeared and was gone nearly an hour. Suddenly his face appeared again over the edge of the cliff. “Are ye still there, Macpherson?” he called down. “Aye,” in a low, weary tone. “Have ye got the rope?” “No, indeed. The dirty dogs in the village wanted twa pounds for it!” It was near the end of the third round, and Battling Ginsburg was hammering away for all he was worth. The bell rang, but the Hebrew paid no attention. It was then that the referee came between the boxers and, tapping Giusburg on the shoulder, yelled: “Time!” “Look, look,” laughed the Hebrew, still jabbiitg right and left, “Just ven he sees me getting the -best of the fight, he vants me to tell him vot time it is!” “That milkman of ours seems to be getting all mixed up in his deliveries.” “Doesn’t he leave the right amount?” “Oh, it’s not the milk, dear; but three times this week he’s delivered the wrong husband.” “I suppose you have a pergola in your garden?” asked the guest. “Not now,” replied Mrs. Newrich. “It barked at the tradesmen and I had to get rid of it.” An American judge was trying a case in which a negro witness was to play an important part. To impress upon him the solemnity of the oath, the judge warned the witness: “Now, Zachary, you know what happens if you don’t speak the truth?” “Yeah, suh,” replied the negro, “I go to Hell and burn a long .time.” "And you. know what happens if you do speak the truth?” “Yeah, suh, we lose de case.”