WRONG AGAIN.

Cromwell Argus, Volume LXIV, Issue 3342, 26 November 1934, Page 7

WRONG AGAIN.

Jones was at a dinner party. He was shy and nervous, and could never summon up courage to speak because of his inability to say anything neat. All the evening lie had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he thought he saw his chance. “What a small appetite you have, Mr. Jones!” said his hostess, with a smile. “To sit next to you,” he replied, gallantly, “would cause any man to lose his appetite.” A MARE’S NEST. Things looked very busy at the office of Messrs. Solomon and Cohen. For three days the partners had been poring over books feverishly adding up columns of figures. Then, at the end of it all, a wail of despair escaped the lips of Mr. Solomon. "Ach, Cohen,” he cried, “vot a vaste, vot a vaste! Ye have given the bookkeeper a veek’s holiday, and his books vas right after all!” Mrs. Gordon rushed into the house in a state of great alarm. “Tammas, Tammas!” she exclaimed, “there’s a cow' in the garden.” “Dinna stand there wastin’ valuable time,” replied Tammas. “Get back and milk it before it gets out.” Departing Guest: “You’ve got a pretty place here, but it looks a bit bax-e yet.” Host: "Oh, it’s because the trees are rather young. I hope they’ll have grown to a good size before you come again.” He: “Kissing should be banned on hygienic grounds.” She: “I don’t care. I never go to such places.”

He leaped gaily up the front steps, flowers under one arm, a box of chocolates under the other. At the door he was confronted by her little brother. “Hullo, Johnny!” “Hullo!” “Sister expecting me?” “Yes.” “How do you know?” “She’s gone out.”

“What would you do, dear, if I should die?” ’ “I’d go nearly crazy!” “Would you marry again?” “I said nearly crazy!”