BRIEF AND BREEZY.

Cromwell Argus, Volume LXIV, Issue 3327, 13 August 1934, Page 7

BRIEF AND BREEZY.

A jolly girl is one who will let you kiss her. A sensible girl is one who won’t let anyone else, A man is as old as he feels, and a woman as old as her photograph taken fifteen years ago. A woman can look at a motor-car that is passing her at fifty miles an hour, and tell whether the woman In the car is the man’s wife or not. A man may be able to write a sensible love letter, but he never does. Two men sat in a bar drinking cocktails. Presently one of them said: “Do you know, Dick, I think I’ll buy this hotel." “Wait till we’ve had a few more drinks,’’ said Dick, “and I’ll sell it to you.’’ “When we were first married I used to waken my husband with a kiss every morning.” “And now?” “After three months he bought himself an alarm clock.” Plumber (arriving late): “How have you managed?’ Husband: “Not st badly. While we were waiting for you to arrive I taught my wife how to swim.” The after-dinner speaker had been talking a long time, and the guests were heartily tired. “Gentlemen,” he said at length, “did you ever stop to think? I ask you again, did you ever stop to think?” A weary listener could bear it no longer. “Did you ever think to stop?” he Inquired. A servant girl bought a ticket in a big lottery, and insisted on having the ticket nembered 51. It turned out to be the winning number, and she received £3OOO. A reporter called upon her, and asked: “Why did you especially want ticket No. 51?” “Well,” she said, “for seven nights I dreamed of number seven, and seven sevens are 51, so I bought the ticket! Master: “Mary, has anybody telephoned while I’ve been out?” Maid: “Yes, sir, but I could not make out the name. To be on the safe side, I said you would let him have something on account to-morrow.” While driving a fast sports car a man was forced to brake very suddenly in a northern suburb, with the result that the car got out of control for a moment and ended Its dance within an inch of a lamp-post on the other side of the road. A policeman strolled up. “Well,” he said, “you got a nice skid there.” “Pardon me,” said the young man, haughtily; “this is my wife.” A woman went to buy a drinking trough for her dog, and the shopkeeper asked her If she would like one that bore the Inscription, “For the Dog.” “I don’t mind at all,” she replied. “My husband never drinks water, and the dog can’t read.” Doris: “Yes, she was furious about the way in which the newspapers reported her marriage.” Helen: “Did it allude to her age.” “Indirectly. It stated that Miss Olde and Mr. Yale were married, the latter being a well-known collector of antiques.” Old-fashioned Lady (at concert): “Is that a popular song he Is singing?” Her Nephew: “It was before he sang It.” '