A north- country young man resident in London married an English lady, and shortly after went to visit a bachelor uncle in Scotland. When uncle and nephew were over their walnuts and wine the old gentleman remarked “Weel, Bobby, ye hae gotten a wife !” “Yes, uncle.” “What can she do ?” “Do ! What do you mean ?” “Oh, can she sew a button on yer sark, or mak’ yer parritch, or do any housework ?” “Not at all, uncle. .The servants do all that ; but I tell you what it is ; she has got the loveliest voice you ever heard. She’s a grand singer.” “Man, could' ye no’ hae gotten a 'canary ?” A young gentleman with a very plain face was rather annoyed because his view of the stage was obstructed by the hat of a pretty girl who was sitting in front of him in the gallery. Wishing to get a glimpse of the performance, he plucked up courage and, in a nervous voice, exclaimed : “See here, miss, I .want to look as well as you.” “Oh, do yer ?” she replied, in a rich Cockney accent, as she turned round and looked at him square in the eye. “Then you’d better run home and change your face.” Critic (as the composer plays ’ his last piece): “Very fine indeed. But what is that passage which make the cold chills run down the back ?” Cojnposer : “That is where the wanderer has the hotel bill brought to him.” Time is the repeater of all things. —Cygne. 1743.
Permanent link to this item
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/CROMARG19110320.2.49
Bibliographic details
Cromwell Argus, Volume XLII, Issue 2238, 20 March 1911, Page 7
Word Count
252Untitled Cromwell Argus, Volume XLII, Issue 2238, 20 March 1911, Page 7
Using This Item
Allied Press Ltd is the copyright owner for the Cromwell Argus. You can reproduce in-copyright material from this newspaper for non-commercial use under a Creative Commons New Zealand BY-NC-SA licence. This newspaper is not available for commercial use without the consent of Allied Press Ltd. For advice on reproduction of out-of-copyright material from this newspaper, please refer to the Copyright guide.