Mr Coville proves Mathematics.

Cromwell Argus, Volume XII, Issue 589, 22 February 1881, Page 7

Mr Coville proves Mathematics.

There are men who dispute what they don't understand. Mr Coville is such a man. When he heard a carpenter say that there were so many shingles on the roof of his house, because the roof contained so many square feet, Coville doubted the figures, and when the carpenter had gone he determined to test them by going up on the roof and counting the shingles. He went up there. He squeezed through the sky-light— Coville weighs two hundred and thirty,—and then sat down on the roof, and worked hi 3 way slowly and deliberately toward the gutter. When he got half-way down, he heard a sound between him and the gutter which told him that something interfered in some way with his locomotion. He tried to turn over and crawl back, but the obstruction held him. Then he tried to move aloDg a little, in hopes that the trouble would prove but temporary, but an increased sound told him that either a nail or a sliver had got hold of his cloth, and that if he would save any of it he must use caution. His folks were in the house, and he could not make them hear ; besides, he did not wish to attract the attention of the neighbors. So he sat there till after dark, and thought. It would have been an excellent opportunity to have counted the shingles, but he neglected to use it. His mind appeared to run into other channels. He sat there an hour before he saw anvone he could notify of his position. Then he saw some boys approach the house. It was light enough for him to see that one of the two was his son ; and although he objected to having the strange boy know of his misfortune, yet he had got tired of holding on the roof, and things were looking desperate. So he took out his pocket-knife and threw it so that it would stake near the boys, and attract their attention. It struck nearer than he anticipated ; it hit the strange boy on the head and nearly brained him. Picking himself up, he turned on Coville's boy, who, he was confident, had attemped to kill him. He knocked him down, and kicked him in the side, picked him up, threw him over the guHer, pulled him back and knocked his head against the gate-post. All the while the elder Coville sat on the roof and screamed for the police, but couldn't get away, Then Mrs Coville dashed out with a broom and introduced a few novel features to the affair at the gate. One of the boarders rushed out with a gun, and espying a figure on the roof, making a terrible noise, took him for a burglar, and drove a handful of shot into his legs. With a howl of agony Coville, •made a plunge to dodge the missiles, freed himself from the nail, and went sailing down the roof with awful velocity, both legs spread out, his hair on end, and his hands making desperate but fruitless efforts to save himself. He tried to swear, but was so frightened that he lost the power of speech ; and when he passed over the edge of the roof the boarder gave him the contents of the other barrel, and then drove into the house to load up again. The unfortunate Coville struck into a cherry-tree, and thence bouuded to the ground, where he was recognised, picked up by the assembled neighbors, and carried into the house. A new doctor is making good wages picking shots out of his legs The boarder has gone into the country to spend the summer ; and the junior Coville, haying wrapped a piece of brick in his handkerchief, is waiting for that other boy. He says before the calm of another Sabbath rests ou New England, there will be another boy in the town who can't wear a cap.