SCHOOLBOY "HOWLERS."

Clutha Leader, Volume XLII, Issue 84, 28 April 1916, Page 8

SCHOOLBOY "HOWLERS."

In a ''general information test" conducted by a schoolteacher in Baltimore (Ij.S.) many amusing answers were given to the" questions asked. Waterloo was located in Ireland, dot ham in Belgium ; the Sublime Porte was identified as "a good wine," while Adam's ale was described as "a drink that was made early in human history in the Garden of Eden," and another boy said that it is "the lump in a man's neck." A hyphenated American, according to one 'student, is "an American who talks in short sentences," and conscription is "a thing that i s written on a tombstone." One young Baltiniorean gravely assured his" teacher that Lewis Carroll, author of "Alice in Wonderland, wrote "The Star-Spangled Banner. On being asked how many people were saved in Nioah's Ark, one pupil replied, | "We all of us were." The question, "Why does a blacksmith beat an iron tvre 'before putting it on the wheel:-'" r'eccived from one boy 'who apparently thought it a "catch" question) the answer, "He doesn't."

GOOD FOR TDK WIIOLK FAMILY

The fame of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy is world wide. It is good for the deep-seated cough of an adult or the croup of children. The same bottle serves the whole family. It is mothers of young children that most appreciate Chamberlain's Cough Remedy, and it is not easy to persuade them to use auy other cough medicine after having seen how prompt and. effectual it is and that it is pleasant and safe to take: , Sold everywhere.

ROMANCE OF PAIR OF SOCKS. A smart young soldier. Corporal W. P.. Gray, 2nd Life Guards, of Bournemouth/arrived at C'lacton-on-Soa lately on. five days' leave from the front, met his bride," Miss Maud Barker, for the first time, and next day married her.

A pair of socks made by Miss Barker. the daughter of a Clacton grocer, and sent to the front fell to the lot of the csoldier in October, IM.-L His letter of thanks to the girl subsequently led to' an exchange of photograph-* and an offer of marriage. Corporal Gray later left for France. IIh'ALTHY WOMEN.

Owing to their sedentary habits women are often troubled with constipation. This can be largely avoided by adopting a proper diet, together with suitable outdoor exercise; but even then they will occasionally need a laxative, ami will find nothing more helpful than Chamberlain 's Tablets. They are easy and pleasant to take, and most agreeable in effect. They relieve constipation ami prevent the disorders arising from it. Chamberlain's Tablets strengthen the digestion and improve tho appetite. Sold everywhere. SELLING SALUTES. AUSTRIAN WAR b'UND SCHEME. The Austrian Ministry of the Interior has hit on au ingenious method of raising the wind for a war charity. The Ministry has had manufactured a sort of cockade or badge to be worn on the hat. The thing itself is in the shape of a hat with a gold hand touching the hat., in l salute. The cockade costs two kronen (Is Sd), and worn on a man's hat is to show that the wearer is entitled to return' salutations in the military manner and not in the way, so prevalent in Austria, of uncovering the head. The two kronen go to the charity.

The- Minister of the Interior, in recommending it to the public, says thai a; this inclement-.season of the year it will be welcomed by many as a hygienic measure. Moreover, the adoption of the cockade will assist in preserving the brims of hats, an economy not to be despised when war lias made everything so duar.

FOR RHEUMATIC TAINS. When troubled with rheumatic pains get a bottle of Chamberlain's Pain Balm. Massage the affected parts with it twice a day and experience the great relief which it affords. Once you are acquainted with the good qualities of Chamberlain's Paiu Balm you will never wish to be without it. Sold everywhere.

IRISH FLAX £2OO A TON. Irish flax, C?() a ton before the war, was now .{.'200 a ton, said Mr Milne Harbour at a meeting of the Linen Thread Company at Glasgow. CAN" YOU AFFORD THE RISK? Were you ever seized with a severe attack of cramp, colic or diarrhoea without a bottle of Chamberlain's Colic and Diarrhoea Eemedy in the house? Don't take such risks. A dose or two will relieve you before a doctor could possibly be called, and it never fails even in the most severe and dangerous cases. You cannot do better than keep a bottle of this remedy ever at hand. Sold everywhere.

MADAME MELBA'S INTENTIONS. According to the San Francisco 'Examiner' Hint. Melba intends to make her permanent home on an estate on the peninsula below San Francisco. She is also reported to have said that it is her intention to open a class for g'u'ls who have voices but not the means with which to cultivate them. ''There are," she said, "so many voices ruined each year by the wrong kind of training that I simply must put out a restraining hand. I should regard- the girls as my wards, whom I should consider it a privilege to teach personally."

THE BEST COUGH REMEDY. When you have a cough that will not yield to other treatment get a bottle of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy. It has been pronuonced "the best made," and has given pcrmaneut relief after other remedies had failed. Chamberlain's Cough Remedy is pleasant to take, and has an established reputation won by its good work. Sold everywhere.

HUN GOLD CACHE FOUND. After a lengthy search the Japanese military administration at Tsingtao (the German, port in China which was captured on November 7, 1914) have recovered the specie which the Germans buried there. It was concealed m orange boxes.