FUN AND FANCY.

Clutha Leader, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 92, 7 June 1912, Page 3

FUN AND FANCY.

THE ROASTED HEN: AN ARAB TALE. A man once sat with his good wife to eat A hen, of which she was for him the roaster. A beggar cried, "Some food I do entreat !" But drove him off, the satiated boaster. Ho thought not of the old proverbial verse, ''The full should carry the empty to their table." Soon through his house came hunger as a curse, To get a single hen he was not able. From direst poverty lie left his wile, And homeless roamed abroad without a brother; But she, in order to preserve her life, In marriage gave herself unto another. Again she with her husband sat to eat A hen, which she for him had been a roasting. A beggar cried, "I some of it entreat!" "Give him tho hen!" said he, too meek for boasting. As to the beggar with tho food she came, Bohold I 't was ho to whom she first was married. She turned, in tears, with thoughts that have no name; Her spouse in wondor asked why thus she tarried. She told him then, in full and frank reply, All since the first beggar away was driven. He cried: "Ah, God! that first beggar was I Praised bo the mercy of all-pitying Heaven. "Tliero is a law which orders Fortune's play, And moves the rich and poor upon its lever; 1 begged of him who begs of me today— May God have mercy on us both forever !" How to Use Patent Medicines. Sick Headache —Place a paper of Lemonine Headache Powders' under your pillow, go to bed, and rest until the headache is relieved.

Severe Spasms of Pain or Cramps— Put a bottle of Painkiller in the icebox ■ind <j;o without dinner. Cold in the Head. —Put a bottle of Surenuff Cough Syrup on the top shelf in the cupboard and go to work as usual.

Fretful and Crying Children—Empty ;i bottle of Mrs Lueretia E. Borgia's Soothing Syrup on the sole of an old shoe, rub in well, and apply to the "liild until the symptoms disappear.

Cold or Numb Peet—Pour one-half pint of any reliable tonic in a hot stove, it down in a chair, and put your feet in the oven.

Biliousness, Loss of Appetite—Get a '>ox of l)r Poysener's Liver Pills. 801 l ■ach pill three times around the block with a golf club. Eat a hearty dinner.

Sleeplessness—Persuade your wife to take a powerful sleeping powder.

Those Unnecessary Questions. The damage suit was on, and Bildad's chauffeur was testifying for the plaintiff. "Now you say," said the pompous lawyer for the defendant, "that at this point the two cars travelling at tho rate of 30 miles an hour came together head on. Then what did you do?" The witness gazed wearily at his questioner. "Why," he said, "I turned to my wife, who was brushing the baby's hair in the tonnea-u, and I said that I thought the dumplings must be done by this time " "Bang!'' interrupted the judge's gavel. "Stenographer," said his Honor, "strike that fool answer from the record."

"And doesn't the (|\iestion go with it. .judge?" asked the witness meekly. 'Sure!" said his Honor, forgetting tho dignity of his rolling for tho moment.

The Shark and the Patriarch. During the Deluge, a« a Shark was conducting a Thanksgiving service for an abundant Harvest, a prudent Patriarch looked out and addrossed him thus: "My friend, I am much struck with your open Countenance; pray come into tho Ark and mak eono of us. The Probabilities are a falling barometer and Heavy Rains throughout the Regions of the Lower Universe during the next Forty Days." "That is just the sort of hair-pin I am," replied the Shark, who had cut several rows of Wisdom Teeth; "fetch on your Deluge." About six weeks subsequently tho Patriarch encountered him on the summit of Mount Ararat, in very straightened Circumstances. Moral.—You Can't pretty much most Always Tell how Things are going to Turn Out Sometimes.