FACETIÆ.

Clutha Leader, Volume XXVI, Issue 1376, 16 February 1900, Page 2

FACETIÆ.

Mr Simple : Your salary is ten times as large as mine. It seeras to me that they pay more for legs than for brains. Mis's Re Russe— Depends on the quality, dear boy. Mis O'Grady — was it two-faced ye called me r i Mrs Slattery — It was and bfgorra Oi don't know which is t ho tiglipsf.

Yi.u g Fred— -I say nurse, why is a new born baby like a storm 1 Nurse — I'm Pure 1 don't know, sonny. Young Fred — Why, because it begins with a squall of course. Miss Ann Teik— Do you believe that the hair grows after one has died? Edgerly— Oh, I don't know. I have known women to grow after their hair's dyed.

Mistress— Jane, what is this I see here in my kitchen % The Cook — ■ Sorry, mum, but soljers is so scarce now Vva got to put up with a militiaman. Everybody's business is nobody's business. Nobody's business is everybody's business. Therefore, business is business.

Aspirant — How long does a trunk generally last you ? Actor — Until it is seized.

Here, you loafer, whistle to your wretched dog. He's gone off with my goose. ' Shawn't ! You whistle to your goose.'

Authentic Medical Opinions Worth Knowing — Dr Osborne says * " I use Sander and Sons' Eucalypti Extract and spray for nasal catarrh, low fever, asthma, &c. , with groat success. I find this preparation superior to all others." Dr Stahl : " T have used various preparations of Eucalyptus, but I got better results from Sander and Sons' Eucalypti Extract than from any other 1 " Dr Preston : " I never use any Eucalyptus preparation other than Sander and Sons', as I found the others to be almost useless." Dr Hart : "It goes without saving that Sander and Sons' Eucalypti Extract is the test in the market. In influenza, all fevers, throat and lung trouble, diphtheria, diarrhoea, dysentery, kidney complaints, rheumatism, wounds, sprains, ulcers, &c, it is invaluable. See that you get Sander and Sons', and reject spurious preparations, which are sometimes supplied by unscrupulous dealers.

No less than 17,000 roubles have been subscribed in St. Petersburg for the Transvaal war fund.