At The Sign Of The JOLLY BUSHMAN.

Clutha Leader, Volume XX, Issue 1026, 23 March 1894, Page 7

At The Sign Of The JOLLY BUSHMAN.

{Australasian. )

Very far out indeed was the Jolh Bushman. The house stood facing due west, ond if you drew an imaginary line from the front door to just shave the top of the Great Australian Bight, still going, west with the least bit of southing in it, you would hit Perth Town Hall fairly.

Not in all that distance, either on the right hand or on the left, until you came to York, would you find another bouse of entertainment for man and beast.

But there were both cattle and sheep stations, and from and by these Dan Beale and Sooze (Anglice Susan), his wife, than whom there were not in Australasia a more accomplished pair of rogues, lived and flourished.

All fish were alike that came to their net — teamsters, drovers, shearers, and rouseabouts.

'What? would Dan ask reproachfully. 'Pass a sign like that? Look at it ! It'll do your eyes good !' And they looked, and succumbed, and came in, and in a very short time departed bare even as the lamb thac is newly horn. But far better than any crowd did Dan love to welcome the solitary traveller — the man with a thumping cheque, on his way ' down below for a spell.'

Then how Dan would applaud his resolution 1 Nay, so interested did he become, that he needs must give him a letter of introduction to a friend in the capital. And, whilst this was being written, wouldn't he sit down and have a bit of dinner — Sooze, he knew, had a roast fowl with potatoes and onions, all nearly ready 1

Then, one nip just to give them an appetite — no, no more ! he didn't believe in a man drinking when he had business before him.

Another dose after dinner 'just for luck on the road,' and the ill-fated wayfarer suddenly became for the nouce a ramping maniac, oblivious of time, his whereabouts, and his money, which last Dan, out of pure regard, had at length taken into his own safe keeping.

Then, a few days later, a shattered, swagless, penniless wretch, grasping a bottle of poison, would stagger into the bush, whilst Dan would forward another sum to his banking account at Wilton.

1 Sooze ' was the only white woman about the place ; the rest were sill blacks and half-castes. The nearest police station was at Wilton, 80 miles distant, and, at uncertain intervals, but generally about the time of shearing, a vaguely-worded paragraph in Southern papers would inform the puzzled city man that — ' Terrible scenes of drunken immorality and disorder amongst bushmen are reported from the far West.'

The Jolly Bushman was one of the centres at which such orgies took place. Dan and Sooze rarely allowed a victim to escape their clutches,

If, by uncommon strength of constitution or the exercise of uncommon caution, he was enabled to, for a while, resist the effect of the stuff they dosed him with, and insisted upon retaining possession of his monej', then the blacks waylaid him, Dan of course, taking the lion's share of the spoil.

At this day the Jolly Bushman has vanished. All that remains of it is a couple of rotten posts and some scattered hearth-stones, over which young lambs skip at play. Its site is now well within the • settled districts,' and a dozen other houses have arisen on the road that seems to lead into the heart of the setting sun.

Once only was Dan met in fair fighfc and vanquished.

Sooze has gone to a better world. But the widower has come in, pays rents and taxes, wears gold spectacles and his white hair long, and is highly thought of as a respectable burgess — a retired pioneer who made his money ' out back.' His digestion is good, he .is hale and hearty, and regularly once a week confesses himself a ' miserable sinner,' and prays devoutly to be delivered from all the ' crafts and assaults of the devil, and from everlasting damnation.'

But, spite of all, he will at rare moments, when the whisky is mellower than usual, and a few other ' pioneers ' are gathered about him, tell the story of how he was once ' had ' by a stranger with a stomach as steel.

Said the first Nomad, ' Bill, I'm dead sick for a spree, an' some good 'igh livin' ! Tramp, tramp, tramp's a

terror.'

1 Same with me, Jim,' said Nomad No. 2, and the pair lay under the shade of an apple tree and chewed grass thoughtfully.

* Ever been about this part before, Bill T presently inquired No. 1.

'Two year ago,' replied his companion, smiling as at a good joke^'l were on the bust at a shop they calls the "Jolly Bushman" — -nous* be, as near's I can rekklect, 15 or 16 mile ahead. I has a good 'orse, saddle and bridle, and 20 notes in my pocket. Well, the cove done me bad. The first nip ot- two staggers me, an* the next un knock§ me clean out of it. "When 1 comes to myself — how long or how

little arter wards there's no tellin ' — I picks myself up somewhere close to this very water'ole. No 'orse, no s-.vag, no 'at, not a copper, an' a bottle o' chain lighting in my fist.'

c Ah,' said tho other sympathisingly, but with evident, enjoyment of the* story. 'That's his sort, is it? Hot coffee, an' served out quick ! An', o' course, you never goes back to the shanty.'

' Not me,' said Bill with pride ; ' I never cries over spilt milk. 'Sides, what use would it ha' been V

' Not a bit,' assented Jim with that solemn tone of d«ep conviction born of past experience.

' How much money ha' yer got on yer, Billy V he asked after a long pause.

1 Four note?, an' a cheque for a tenner that nobody wouldn't take on the other side — cove that drew it's gone broke — jist my luck.'

' The very hidentical,' replied Jim. llf you'll lend me the lot — I only got a few shillin's myself — T'll show yer a wrinkle afore this time to-morrer • ay, an' p'raps get your prad back for you into the bargain — or another un as

good.'

But Bill hesitated, and naturally. He had only been with his present mate a week or two, and he felt a little, doubtful.

Seeing his indecision Jim said impressively, ' Yell get yer money back, Billy, leastways the good part on it. We'll 'aye a week o' 'igh livin', an' lashin's o' drink — such as it is. We'll lose our Condaminers* here, which ain't o' no account ; but we'll have a couple of good prads for to ride away out o' this cursed country. I've got the whole thing readied up in my head this long time.'

• There's none o' them lambers,' he continued, 'as can do me. I've tried lots, I can put away turps, carbolic, painkiller, kerosene, vitril, and biled bacca, and still keep right end up and a firm holt on the sugar. I've had some queer mixchers shoved inter me, too. Why, only larst spree I was on thre was a feller over at the Barrier tried to be too smart, and he found it out — 'bout the same time as I done.'

1 I'd drunk,' he went on, ' all his blarsted chemicals and things, and he was near played out. But there was a case of Sent Jacob's Hoil in the shanty, and he bottles it horf with kyeen peper and serves it up for dark brandy.

1 1 was getting a bit seedy-like, and 1 had a few notes left out o' 40 as I started with. Well, Bilk if you'll believe me, that stuff sobered me up as straight as a rush afore I'd finished one bottle. Then suddenly it comes into my 'cad to take his'n and bash it agen his own bar. I done that till he couldn't speak, and then I clear?.

' Well, sence then I've got it readiod up that, when I gets into another shop o' that kind, I'm going to have a lark. If you's agreeable, mate, you and me'll have the lark with the feller as lambed you down so jolly clever and cleau, and who lives in the shanty 16 mile ahead on us.' Much more he said and at length prevailed.

But it was not without misgiving that Bill, early next morning, saw the broad, squat figure of his mate — a pocket Hercules in build — tramping steadily away with all his wealth in the direction of the Jolly Bushman.

The general aspect of the tavern wis not very much in keeping with its exalted position on the 25th parallel of latitude.

It was, in truth, a ramshackle, manycornered place, built mostly of round poles, the bark of which, falling off as they dried, and hanging in strips, gave it an unkempt, squalid look.

But the si«n made up for all other shortcomings. So that none of its splendor might be lost, it was erected on two stout posts fronting the road, and between which it swung majestically.

This work of art depicted a redshirted swagman, his late burden at his feet, with a full tumbler in one hand, and the other extended towards Daniel, standing in the. background.

Doubtless the intention had been to represent the traveller in the act of jovially greeting the host whilst praising his tipple. But either unconsciously, or of malice prepense, the very opposite was conveyed ; the out stretched hand was clenched, and a threatening scowl distorted the features, whilst Dan himself seemed overwhelmed with confusion.

But no critic noticed these slight blemishes,- least of all Dan himself, who was wonderfully proud of his sign, and never failed to draw attention to its beauties. Indeed, it was universally admired, and admitted, on all hands, to be ' as tip-top a bit of droring as you'd see atween 'ere and the big smoke itself.'

For some time trade had been very slack. In fact, for the past few weeks, Dan had found little to do except sit ill his verandah and watch the grasshoppers.

He was a stout, dark-complexioned not unpleasant looking man, evidently not given to indulging much in his own decoctions.

' Ah-h-h !' he yawned, getting up at last and squinting over the arid plain, * here's someone coming anyhow.'

As the figure approached he made it out to be that of a swagman, and one. to his practised eye • cheque-proud.'

He had long learned to distinguish between the short eager "tread and light kit of a profitable customer~arid the listlese slouch of the habitual sundowner or stone-broke traveller.

' Phew !' exclaimed the man, coming up and dumping his swag on the verandah, ' it's been a scorcher ;' and without further ceremony he followed Dan into the bar and called for rum.

' Fill your own glass, boss,' he remarked, genially, and Dan, taking another bottle from the shelf tahfcid him, containing colored water, did so. They drank to each other, and the traveller, opening the front of his blue shirt, carefully extracted an object at sight of which Dan's eyes glistened. It was a dirty sock, whose contents bulged fatly and gave forth a pleasant rustling as its owner extracted, seemingly quite at random, a cheque, and handed it over, remarking, as he tied the top of the sock tightly with a piece of bootlace,*' There y'ar, boss. Tell us when that uns blewed. It's only a tenner, and there's whips more where it came frotn,' patting his breast caressingly.

Dan grew deferential. He hadn't seen such a fish for many months ; andhe decided, as he looked his catch over, that it would take careful handling.

* Been workin' far out, sir V he asked just glancing at the cheque.

1 A good way back,' replied the newcomer, ' Fencin' an' tank-sinkin.' Now fill 'em up again ; an' let's 'aye the best you got in the 'ouse for supper. I'm a-goin' in for a bit o 'igh living' !' and he slapped his breast with a sound that woke responsive ochoes in Dan's soul.

• Sooze,' said Dan to his better-half that night, ' there mus' be a couple o' hundred in notes an' paper in that ole sock !'

' It'll come in handy,' said Sooze, who was a fat sloppy brunette of 40 and a skilled distiller of vile liquids. ' There's that lost lot o' loadin' to pay for vet. How's he drinkin' 1'

1 Well said Dan in a puzzled^ tone, 'he drinks right enough. Nothen don { t seem to come amiss to him. He's had a drop o' pretty near all as is in the 'ouse. He says the rum wasn't as good as they kep' on the Barrier — no grip in it. Said that whisky as you brewed last week was like water. Went off to bed as sober as a judge. It's my opinion,' he concluded despairingly, 'as he's a cove with a couple o' stummicks-, an' that one on 'em's steel !'

1 Did ye trap him with the big square bottles Lorn under the bar?' asked his spouse angrily. ' the " dead-finish," as I calls it. 7 "

' Too soon for that, yet,' said Dan,deprecatively, as he blew out the candle. ' Damn ib all, Sooze, have a little patience ! You're that hasty you'd spile everythin' if you had yer own way.'

• An' you're too chicken-'earted, you oH fool,' retorted the woman, irritated at the indifference with which her decoctions had been treated. • What stuff/ she asked, ' did he seem most shook on V

' Well, I fancy,' replied Dan, reflectively, 'as he took more o' that- as ye made out o' them logwood chips, an' pepper, an' likriss-root, an' nitric acid, an' labelled ' dark brandy ' than of any of the others. He reckoned it were tasty.'

1 Ab,' grumbled Sooze, resentfully, I'll doctor him, you bet, presently, if he ain't got the inside of a hemu or a gohanner.'

Next morning the visitor was- up, fresh at a lark, and he ordered two fowls, with ham and eggs to follow, for breakfast.

'Two year on damper an' mutton, remember,' said he, slapping his breast gleefully, and grinning in Daniel's face.

During the clay another traveller arrived, and was greeted with effusion by the first.

{ An ole mate as I haven't seed for hagps,' he explained to Dan, who on his part recognised the new, arrival glumly, and^as one likely to spoil sport.

Once more the sock was produced, and a roll of notes handed with a flourish to the hard-up mate of past years, who thereupon, to Dan's infinite content, became speechlessly drunk, and remained so except at meal times.

Business was dull, and the pair had the ' Jolly Bushman' all to themselves.

The aggravating parb of the affair was that not only was the friend of the past, as a rule, too drunk to do anything but eat ; but that his companion, the man with the sock, although drinking "enough for two or three, appeared able to keep both his feet and his money.

Even a dram that he presently got from 'the big square bottle under the bar,' only momentarily surprised him, and caused him to remark; ' Why the blozes didn't ye fetch that oat afore 1 That, now, 's somethin' like ! That's nearer the sort o' stuff they gives you on th« Barrier !'

At this Dan started aghast, too utterly dumbfounded to even venture on a reply.

But, as the guest strolled out, the landlord, putting the cork to his lips, shuddered and spat, muttering, ' Mus' be a hot shop, over on that Barrier. Don't want any more jokers from there. You'd think this 'nd~ sicken a 'orse !

An' he downs i»; like a cup o' tea !'

' I can J t gefc him on the go, nohoW, Sooze,' he . complained to his • wife. He's none too free with the sugar,

neither. I hinted to-day as that tenner's 'bout cut out. ' Oh,' sez he, quite careless like, an' -a tappin'' of, his breast, I'd clean forgot all about that,' sez he, " there's no 'ury. I ain't igoin' further yet awhiles." ' / . : \ ' \ ->,

'Bust him"!' exclaimed Daniel "'indignantly/ 'if he's, a /startin' them loah'n' games. A miserable "tenner in four or five days ! .Why, he ain't worth powder an' shot' so. far. - You an' you're precious square bottle o' "dead finish!" Why, he never so much as winked^ It might ha' been milk. TMI have- to send you over (o the* Barrier, my lady, to learn a wrinkle there " Bead finish !" Yah !' • . I

But that same night Jim, pale and shaky, was saying to Bill, in their joint room —

'Mate, it's time to clear! I can hold a lot o' all sorts ; but croton's a staggerer ! Them was croton in that last dose. I knowed it by the smell, an' I've kriowed it ever since ! But I never let on— not a wink outer me. Rouse up, an' give us a hand.

•So Bill arose, bright and steady, and the pair, moving noiselessly into the bar, filled an assortment of small phials, collected for the occasion, with different mixture, including s liberal sample of ' dead finish.'

This done to their satisfaction, they returned to bed.

'Look 'ere, boss,' said Jim, the next morning, 'my mate's goin' as far as Pceko. He wants to see if he cun get a job. Sez he's tired o' loafin' on me. I've promised to go with him for kumpny. Lend us a conple o' prads — good uns. If I likes my mount I'll buy him when we, comes back this evenin'.'

'AH right,' said Daniel. • I'll lend you the best I got. Your mate can have the one he jumped over the bar here last shearin' 12 month. He's in the paddock — fat as butter.'

That afternoon ' Sooze,' ayS was her weekly custom, shaking up the beds, screamed aloud in the exuberance of her joy at discovering in one of them the precious sock.

' Dan'i, Dan'i !' she cried, rushing out to her husband, moodily counting grasshopers, ' I've found it. He's gone an' clean forgot it ! That dose o' " dead finish, bothered him a bit, arter all !"'

'Let's see,' said Daniel, as, . with trembling fingers, he snatched it and opened it.

Blanker and Blanker grew his face as he unrolled Apiece after piece of worthless old paper. But blanker than ever grew his expression when coming on a fragment addi'essed to himself, he

road —

' Mr Beel, if you wants your mokes, you'll 'aye to come to Winton for 'em; We will leave 'env with the polis there. Likewise six bottles ov poison we fiit from your barrel larsb nite. Bi the time as you gets heer the polis well 'aye 'em hannesalised. Bill is witness. If you makes us a prisint ov the hosses, wy, we goes on to new south whales an' no more sed. We is going on ennyhows.'