CURE FOR POLITICS.

Clutha Leader, Volume X, Issue 558, 20 June 1884, Page 2

CURE FOR POLITICS.

' Well, Hennery, I am sorry to find you in this fix,' said the grocery man as he tiptoed into the darkened room at the house of the bad boy, where he found him in bed, propped up with pillows, a paller on his face that was frightful, and a general look of goneness.

' Your pa tells me you have been sick nearly a week. I thought things at the grocery were going along in a solemn manner. Don't hurt you to talk to you, does it V and the grocery man looked for a chair to sit clown in.

' Naw, it don't hurt,' said the bad boy, as he motioned to a chair, and the grocery 7nan sat down. 'If talking would kill me I would have been dead long ago. By the way, I wish you would hand me that mustardplaster. You will find it in the chair you are sitting on,' and the boy smiled a sickly smile, while the grocery man got up as though he was in a hurry and apologised for sitting on tho plaster. 'No apology necessary/ said the bad boy. ' When anybody comes to see me they are welcome to the best we have got. A soft answer turneth away wiath and a mustard-plaster covereth a multitude of pneunomia,' and Hennery applied the plaster to his chest, and asked the grocery man to hand him across a box of pills on the table. The grocery man handed the boy a box of pills and a glass of water, and he took a small handful of pills and a swallow of water, smacked his lips and said :

' Ah ! A nectar fit for the gods. Do you know there is something about being sick that takes the cake? You can lay and sleep, or raise up and cough. And then the beautiful medicine the doctor leaves ! I take it because it pleases the doctor. He is a nice man, but I don't think a man can feel of your pulse, and listen to the mocking bird in your heart by holding his ear on your shirt and tell what is the matter with you. Gimme a drink. Now I want you to do some things for me, as I may not pull through, and pa is so busy in politics that he can't attend to anything. Are you there, Moriarty V 1 Yes, yes,' said the grocery man, as he saw the boy had something he wanted to say ; ' out with it now, and I will do anything you ask me to.' ' Well, you know that man without any legs that plays the hand-organ down on the corner. I want you to take my skates to him and tell him —

' Great heavens,' said the groceryman, ' wliat do you want to send a pair of skate's to a man that hasn't got any legs for?'

' Don't interrupt the speaker,' said the bad boy, as he. took a pill for a change. ' Take the skates to him, and tell him I lend them to him till I get well. He has got three boys, and they are too poor to buy skates, and they can take turns using mine, and I shall not miss them, for if 1 live the skating will be all gone before I get out doors, and if I die, there will be no skating where I am going.' * Oh, say, hush up now,' said the grocery man. 'You are not half as sick as you think you are, and there is no hurry about your dividing up your worldly goods. In a day or two you will be out as good as new, making it interesting for all of us. What was the hired girl laughing at when she let me in % She said something about you scaring the folks out of seven years' growth just before you were taken sick,' and the grocery man thought if lie could get the sick boy talking about something funny it would cure him.

'Well,' said the boy, as he laughed so the skin was drawn across his pinched face, 'it was awful mean, but ma wanted to know what time pa^ gofc home nights, since he has got to working the ward for alderman. You see, he comes in all times of the night, and tries to keep still so as not to wake ma up. He comes in and undresses in 'the dark, and retires and ma don't wake up. I have got a friend working in a jewellery store, and I got him to lend me six alarm clocks, and I wound all up, and placed them around the house where I could touch them off when pa came in. I put one on the hat rack, and when pa came in just after midnight I touched it off just as he- puts his hat on the hat-rack, and [ crept half way upstairs in the dim light. Pa was trying to be quiet, and when the alarm went off, he looked sick. He didn't know what it was, but he just stood still, with his overcoat half off, and waited for the thing to run down, and he was listening all the time to see if ma woke up. I had told ma to pretend to be asleep until the last one went off, which I had placed on the foot of the bed, and then for her to get up and throw chairs. Pa started up stairs as soon as the clock stopped, in his stocking feet and just as he ' got half-way upstairs I touched off the second alarm, and pa stopped and I went up to the he.ad of the stairs to get another one ready. Pa got hold of the clock and tried to stop its noise by hold ing it under his coat, and he listened for ma some more, hut ma didn't show up. When the clock got through sputtering pi came up stairs, and at the top the third one went off, and then he was mad. He thought he would wake ma sure, but she snored right along through all, and pa breathed hard, and said some political words. When that clock stopped, I slipped into the bedroom and whispered to ma that I was going to let all three of the others go off at once, and she said all right, so I waited till pa got part of his clothes off, when I turned on the three of them, and T slipped out in the hall, and then I began to hear chairs tumble around and pa began to beg. I guess he thought there was a caucus. When the chairs had all been thrown, I turned up the gas in the hall, and came in just as though I had been frightened out of bed, and there stood ma laughing just as hard as she could, and pa had crawled under the bed, with only his feet sticking out, and I think lie was saying his ' now 1 lay me down to sleep.' Ma coaxed him out, and may be she did not read the riot act to him. She made him promise to keep away from politics and try to be a man, and guess he will. But I had to pay for one of the clocks, 'cause pa fell on it, and busted the works flatter than a tin plate. But we had fun, and I guess my staying up in the hall waiting for pa gave me the cold that made me sick, but I feel better now, and I will be out to-morrow. Don't you know that when a sick person lays and thinks of dying it makes them worse, when, if they get to talking about something interesting it braces them up 1 Come in again, boss, and when I get well I will come over to the grocery and talk to you till you are sick,' and the bad boy rolled over to go to sleep, while tho gr-orery man went out believing that nothing less than a cannon ball would kill the bad boy.