HOW SIMON PEVERITT GOT MARRIED AT LAST.

Clutha Leader, Volume VIII, Issue 408, 5 August 1881, Page 2

HOW SIMON PEVERITT GOT MARRIED AT LAST.

Master Westley, clerk and sexton in the small village of Woodham, was one. winter's morning- sitting^b#h}s. cheepy;fireside, watching aiterriit6lj«ltbe rajrPji fiercely beating against theJhlattidedi window-panes, and the bris&vmoyei! ments of his active little 3 : aughter,'%s; she moved to and fro, busy about her' household work. Presently she canW in, bringing a hat, greatcoat, and umbrella, observing : « You will' • be. want-^ ing these soon, father. It is nearly eleven o'clock.' She had hardly said this, when a loud knocking was heard at the outer" door, followed by the abrupt entrance of a little middle-aged man -in. a state of grrat excitement,, his face red, his hair rumpled, his boots splashed with 1 mud, and his coat dripping with wet. • Why, Simon* what on earth's the matter V said the clerk. ♦ You don't look much' like a bridegroom.' ' Bridegroom ! No !' . the little man exclaimed with bitter emphasis. ' Master Westley, you'll hey to tell parson I can't get married to-day.' 'Why, how is thai?* asked the clerk.

* I can't get Mary up/ quoth the indignant and disappointed lover: ' I've been rattling at her door, and throwin' stones at the winder, and shoutin' till I'm as hoarse as a rook ; and I'm nearly wet through with the drippings from the husens.fthe eaves of the house], but 1 can't get she up. . She only just put her head out of the winder for a minute, to tell me 'twor no good for me to stand a hocketting [making a. great noise] there ; for she'd never take the trouble to put on her best things, and go out in that powerin' rain jest to marry me.' «-W-hyi Sim! this is rather a bad beginning for people about to marry — isn't it ? I'm afraid the grey mare will be the best horse in your team — won't she?' said the kindly old clerk, with a merry twinkle in his knowing brown eyes. ' However, I'd better go and tell Mr Howord, or he will be putting his surplice on for nothing. Shall I say to him that perhaps the wedding may come off to-morrow, if the weather is finer, and Mary will get up in time V 'If she don't,' vowed Sim, glaring vengefully, * she shall never hey another chance, I'm faiily sick of her tricks. We've been keeping company this twenty year and more, and now she don't know her mind a bit better than a mawther [young girl] in her teens. But I won't stand it no longer. She ain't going to treat me like a dog, or a mat for her. to wipe her feet on. There's widow. Biggs would hey me any day, waHglad; and a nice comfortable woman she is too ! The wedding-ring shan't lie long in my pocket for want of a wearer. And there, Master Westley,' said poor Sim, almost in tears over his frustrated plans and disappointed hopes, ' I'd meant this to hey been a reg'lar jolly day. I'd got in a barrel of beer, and a spare rib of pork, and we wor going to hey parsties and frawns [pan cakes], and a morfc of good things beside to make a reg'lar' spree of it ; and now, it's all- knocked on the head, and everybody knows I'm made a fool of into the bargain.'

4 Cheer up, Sim,' said Master Westley. "• It is aggravating, I'll own ; but Mary isn't a bad sort though she has rather a cruggy [crusty] temper. She has been very true to you; and it would be a pity for two such faithful lovers as, you've been to part dyer a little tiff at last. I believe Mary is jealous of the little widow. You know people did say you were rather soft on her.'

' It was a big story,' burst out Sim; * She tried to hook me but I never gave her no encouragement,' * Didn't you walk- with her from church last Sunday ? I heard that you did, and carried little Joey all the way home ; and kissed him when ; you put him down at his mother's door.'

' Well, be axed me to give him a kiss so I couldn't do no otherwise. There wop no harm in that, sewerly/ ' Certainly non Only; you see as Mary lives just opposite, and, saw' it all, she very likely thought you'd be better engaged kissing- her, instead of hanging round the widow's door. Depend upon it she's jealous; and shels' got 'a highful spirit of her own, and is acting like this to make you think she doesn't care whether she has. you or no. If she thought there was real danger of losing you, she'd come round, in a minute, as tractable as you likeJ' 1 But how can I make, her think so V

' Well, you won't be doing any work today, and itfs dull tiffling [idling] about doing nothing. 1 Take and brushyourself up smart, and; and have a chat" witli ; MrW Biggs.' T^aice some i oranges and sweat 3. for Joey. Don-f 100k -at Mary's. ,house ;', and mind, and make a grand show of petting and kissing the boy .in.. front of the window where she' "can see it; all. She'll be m ; 6re jealous than ever.' But if she dpesnY'rakrfy ydii to-morrow^ I'll eat. my head *'

'.Ah, Master Westley, you're a deep one; you are;' said Simon;'regarding his astute adviser with admiration. * But it don't' tare -to be esackerly jonnick [sWaigLrtfdrw-ard] tp de^ so j ' and I ain't fo'rid of smafmiri' babies over with' kisses. Still if you think it'll bring Mary up to the scratch I'll c'en try it. If it don't,

i marry Sukey I will, without any more 1 shilly-shallying.' | ' Master Wesfclyi?then.\started for the rectory «sandrSit^'paicl : 'Bis visit to the wjijdow. He v xrerolrijied>in her snug -little house; sdme;timiip:and must have afeted his ipapttiuncoiniiibnly well, for he.;)'had hardj^i reached?/ home again, when he, was visited^byr/his old Sweetheart 1 . This eccentric- spinster, ignoring her own Wayward conduct that day attacked Sim with a storm of reproaches accusing him of fickleness and falseness in forsaking her for ' that sly,, carneying,' little widder ••• • and ■ after^k-eepm^-r" company with , me so. many years !' she plaintively added r - \ '■

'No,' said. Sim stoutly. j..iltKftr. 3 ..ne r _ fault o* mine. I was ready to do* my~~ part this morning. It was you as run word. But, l'll eat humble pie.. no longer, i If you don't want ttf he \r me T know one as. does." I'll marry you tomorrow if you like. If you don't I'll never ax you again !'

Mary was a tall, black-eyed^ comely/ looking- spinster, of forty or indre, ( .^e-', , puted to have a hot- temper and. a.: shrewish tongue ; ' but for once* she kept; ; both in check. It was evident Simon ' meant to be trifled with no longer. Moreover, she could riot help secretly admitting that he was right and admir- :J ing his spirit and manly, determination, It would never do to let go so good a fellow and so faithful a lover fall a prey ' to a designing widow — not to .mention the humiliation she would have to endure. '

Next morning the rain clouds had cleared off, and a bright sun pdured its rays through the old - church windows upon Mr and Mrs Simon Peveritt, as they walked from the alter-rails into the vestry, to enter their names,; in, the., parish register. Sim, with a broad grin,, on his face, laboriously executed , a big, , black X as ' his. mark,' informed ,th^ r rector that he was ' a sawyer by trade ' and that his * owd gal had been of' age this twenty year!' after which he turned to his friend the clerk, with a knowing wink,' and said in an undertone : 'We did it well between^us,^ didn't we ! Mary was up at six this* morning, and. bed to wait for me ! I've got the whip-hand to begin with ; and I promise you I won't give up the reins agin. 1 Then he added in a louder tone as they were about to leave : • Now, Master Westley, you mußt3ome: and help we to eat the wedding dinner. The pork and apple-sass will be none the worse for waiting a day ; and my Missus and me 'ull make you as welcome as the flowers in May. There won't be happier folks in 1 Woodham. AnH, Master Westley, you shall hey some of the finest logs in my timberyard to kt-ep up your fires this winter. I'm not the man to forget a good turn or an old friend.' — Chambers's Journal.: