Aacetiae.

Clutha Leader, Volume II, Issue 95, 4 May 1876, Page 7

Aacetiae.

- ■ ! • ■ ' ■ ... » ... ...... j- „ . f j'* Af.litjtl^.nopse^se fQaw^and then, .< -if v. : * _;^ i Is relished by the wisest men." ' ' " ' 7 .: 7.1 .."- — *~.y::v A::kvaAA "'""" • 'A piano affords a young lady a good chance to shoW her finger /andjher finger-ring, i- About the greediest thing known isa fowl eating corn. It .takes a peck every time. Ham is the name oft a boy arrested in Hudson : tor stealing eggs. ;i ,Theyusually;gOitogether.. : „,.'. 'Vyhat i 3 the ( difference .between firpaness And obstinacy ? — A strong will and a Btrohg won't. Life, may be merry, as. well as useful. Every person that . owns. a ; mouth haa always a good opening for a laugbA : 7 J ' : ' ''7! " '" " : " ''' "JHow long will nay chop be; waiter?" aavafcely asked a hungry and.waitiUg* guest. *"" " About five inclies, sir," was the precise reply?' . ' v ' "A "Why did you pass yesterday without looking at me V said a ; beautiful woman to Talleyrand. "Because, madam, if*l llia r looked £ could hot 'have passed?' J " --■•»"'■' "'"' "'-.A; 1 ' w -.. ': »•.:• '-■ * ■:'■•• V.-l ' 5 f..'i -* •-.-'•;-. ':' „ .■"' r The farmer who.hung; an old coofci in his. field toirighteh birdßaway, and}afterwaida.fottt(d A ; ,7 young brood in one of, the pockets, has tost faith in sjsarecrowß.- v " 'V ''- • -*f 1 t J'tt?<.ny iJ. Landlady (fiercely) : ' VY»u musn'tjoccupy that bed with your boots -on." ; Boarder : !. M^Neyer mind, they're ahold pair. I guessr the> bedbuqa can't hurt "em. I'll risk ify' anyhow' " « ' "■"festive Youth.Aoid Party (wjao stajnmers, conies in for some ipecacuanha) : '. '** 6b, if- you please, young man, I -vr-w-want- some! ip-ip-ip. [ijp-f~" Festive Youth (fired by recent reminiscence): "Hurrah!" >" '"' A f '*v The comedy balled ** Satin j y is about i ! to be played at qne of the minor theatres ( of £N*ewi York, with a female in the title role. It will not be the. first time, says an American paper, that a woman played the devil. V' ;;-:*- :' -v. 'A ■ ->\

'! I never get savage with7a'fopl,j''w^ the cutting remark of a man who fancied!, ihimseif af-f-ohted by another. "", '*;That !accuuntsn fori your always being on such stmicable terms, with yourself," was the rejoinder. "• •'.■,"-**"-•. ,'s ..,.,<

Servedl Him Jßight.— The: man 7who ? -imagined himself wise Tbecause he (detected soitfe r typo.; gra|phical'errors.iri & newspsftjier ■ b!as c beenltryib| to get a perpendicular view- of a rainbow, and twisted his neck off'ih the attempt.; 'AT .* > I

y ' V I have seen/ 1 staying Jlily-ljke ( : s»feout ?the churn, a beauty r more ' pe^i.c*-'\thw^i^^! which bloomed full grown from the bright focus! of the sea's ecstatic travaU," is the .way. anl&dianapolis reporter began a column desoription' of 1 a"" dairymaid. ' '" ■•- . : .' .' ;,Au\ vi Ai\ --■■ V What are you in gaol forTf. aijjced. a^prison visitor of pa n^roi, . " For "wif win money, saji *f» " Why, they don't jput mpn in gaol for borrowing monby !» "! Yes, "ian, butVou »_f¥ na!d 'to knock de man down free prfour times afore he'd londittome.'t SAAA' '■ '■ ! !; r '»! r !;'r 'A'i-t- --•■ •' ' A EVenchpaper supposes that a whale may be only an antediluvian sprat, but thrnks/it .fortunate thkt men are deprived of this faculty' of un,limited:grbwth. "At the present price 'ofjproVisions,'- it says, " a main eighty feet liigh would be jthe ruin of family.'- ' j A man in Nbrtha!mpton,' it is 1 said, 1 made W> ni^ny pairs of shoes.in one day that ijb.took two .clays to count them.: lie was ai smart man,' but not equal to one inCouuty Tipperary, .wl^o built so many miles of stone fence in one , day that it ! took him all night and next day/to gethome.

' * Christmas-box, " said ' in extremely ragged little urchin, entering an extensive! pM%oook'a establishment. "What claim !haW .youTnipoii m^ ?' asked the proprietress,; **„% npveri ww! you before." "fWhy; please ma'am, I lookea in afc r the window to; see what o'plo^tit is whenrl g<J to wprk.'• t ' Ji_, "' J ' Jj ',"•''-- C-- >; i ( --raui3i.>. , ij- Two yoiuig fellows wero bantering each other, •when finally one of,th6mexdauned in a defiant tone: " WeU; there's oVie thing caii'tdo, at any rate." " " What «^it?' " Y3tt^carinoii 1 put ymv head into an entity !bai*rel»' ? "Ob; nonsense! Wihy ca^t II*' ! 7^Beraus¥itVan;^^ t» putahog-s;hM'into7_baiTei. , '>^; : ' J 'T; " A Patriotii^Sootf W SBngUshC Wurist :' ♦* Toet ma man,' trot'awV; °iiSaWyk bbait sao ..much ajjqojyersh-. cpupttif.n &•» Sr«i«tt;«»t itjwas only cad Breetin tm -Scotland cam fye, aii' then ye bwsam? .Great! "Breetin tl Ajd, an* ye've remained gt^at evefSiiice. * Ye'd be a!puir lot left tae yersels," r ' 7 j "S • ■;■-■•( oK ,-/•.'> l |A traveller visiting a cathc^liW^lshown by the civil sacriß.tan,,amongioth6r marvelß, iti-^^dirty glass phiah After eyeing ?it som©Ttime tl|e. traveller sail, f " W'youiTOU'-'ihM'^-'^lict ,Why, it. is f j!^«ft^ the Bacristan, indignantly-. 'SSir;. it of the darkness that Moses spread over ther laud of jsgypt.**OA nrn y^:-y\S yiotny} ; A professor having inventeda wondeifol.hairjinvigorating fluid, applied to a philosoplie£-for, a testimonial. He gave it; in, these terms,, calculated to convince the 7most. sceptical t4-f-» A Jittla applied to the inlcsta^ndhrs-'giveh-'it a r c<nt'o£ ?bWstlej, making a splendid 'peri-wiper atasmall cbst. We appUedthe.latlier^tb |'i»npe!nny:-nail, a|id the nail is now'the,hand^rawtjlather!brush ypu ever sajvi :wi^,a Jt>autifi?X^fJ !htirs gjuviingji f }' om t W e P d ]*^f4} i . so m,e [fyfm sixfeet.inJLenglh. Applidd to door sfories ii dWs awsfy wi^n tlie use of the mat; appliedto ( a""floor, .it yill .cause to : grow therefrom fi lmfr Abn^cijn^ofA^Ai^vxmQU ftirpet. A Uttle weak^lathor^^pnnkled.jpjor a tiarn makes it impefviopsiitti ;thßifrain r wind, or ■;cpld. It is good.tjipiit^m'Jchadl^h'Boradles, sprinkle on th'o Toa,'lside/7or' afl^Whe'WfWhere luxuriousi grass j^wan^, .^for -use .or*, onaahient. : It produces" the^e|f ect;m^n :nnnp.^y '.^' AA

of tle^housi-T if thisVvikitresFdoTs^ot pring her work witu^e^,,withput,which ?yie visited would beobiigedfyto^muun ■ idle, which is neither* more rio¥ legs' than & sin." The custom $ Jwofth %of emulaji m, and we sfrpnld l^e universally adopted. 1 * ' j Holloway's Pri^^We*fc ; !Stbmiaais:'--The wisest cannot eniml^te' one "lathe of t¥e Tdiitressing symptoms arising f f&&<;^ Jill oi'vM^imij^i^jJ^liii^MeM jidimrable Pitts. They-remove all unpleasant tastes from the "mouth^ aM6-fla|ileno>, and constipatlori. H6H6wasV,Eflig rojWthe sto. 'mach, liver, ; %«T^^^ jtone of digestion which rcSiy enables the stomach k^b^-£HeS& &m*vw<W^ i *&&b> Wre^gthw^rii^a th^^flaf^rt rwtorotrivsarin ,ner^ Iv9^9SKilf^*1 v 9^9SKilf^*i u i^!^4 f .<#finfc4ebmty <^ a Hollo-. Appetite, eructations, and a mulfitita«pofX«t"Se^ .disagreeable symptoms,- which .render nuotfafcte ithe/lfves,of thoiWßnds, : - :* r r o <,-' f A n^rrr .'"."*"