Sunngisins.

Clutha Leader, Volume I, Issue 6, 13 August 1874, Page 5

Sunngisins.

v Mew : *A*%ag- ; calls < bigamy^: 1 ■: "; TOhibing^he^toa^e f kt vi y AAAy:yyyf * MarkT^ to live ra aland>f plenty, ifyott hav^'plehty;.'of land.*':".*-""--;'''-.'"-. ' /A' : '/-/y^yyyyr- :A The Latest Definition. —When two persons get mOTnedii^ are thereaftersaid to :b'e;'A ( Siatneßed/' V.An exchange tells how -ths ! eye is tywept and washed.'* How it ia blackened 4voiild :- furnish another interesting chapter. A) A, '.''. An editor ; says that; when he .*• was. iir prison for libelling a justice of tlie^eace^he' was requested by the gaoler "to give the prison putt ." ; What, comes after T ?" asked a, teacher of a small pupil who waa * learning alphabet. He received the bewildering reply, il You do— to see Liza." ,"-••'■*•' -A Strangers visiting the Cluths, while the , snow is in the streets,; are particularly Cautioned not to kick any old hsits they may notice in their j«th, as wveral citizens have had their heads \ severely bruised in ■ this way before they were dug out. *■ Na«b3.— The famous name Campbell is derived from two Gaelic words, signifying \ wry-nose ; and the meaniog of Cameron is wry-mouth. ."' --V : "- •-yy-:'y- : . A wide-a*wake minister, who found his congregation /going t6 sleep lwf<irelfei had fairly commenced, suddenly sto^d tod exclaimed; "Brethren, thfeisa'tiairi it iwtt giving a man half a chance. Wait till I pet along, and then if I ain't worth lisfenr . ing to, go to sleep, but don't before I commence. Give a man a chance." • *.., J Contentment.— Josh Billings says, "^u I kantfutf contentment laid down on/the [map; it iz an imaginary place not settled yet, and those reach it soonest who throw away their compass and go to it blind." [ A Duluth paper says one of the streams running into lake Superior from the north is called Temperance River, because it is tbe only one of all the tributaries of the lake that has no "bar" at its mouth. A Kansas pastor has msely declined an addition of lOOdol. to his salary, on* the plea that the hardest part of his labours heretofore has been the collection of his salary, and it wouldi kill him tefc, undertake to collect lOOdol. more. Her Version of the Affair.— AtScotchmim thus recently addressed his daughter.'— * "-* Fats this I hear ye're gauri to dee, Jennie? ' "Weel, rt ßhe replied ; "I'm just gauri i to marry that farm ower by ther, wH live Wi* the bit mannie on't»" l Head Foremost*— A sporting gentiepniai-i from London explained mattei*s to a Leiceßte& shire friend thus:— "All ofta' Budderi my^. horse stopped but I went straight on." y^A Sagacity: — APhiladelphiftepOTtdr^inde-" scribing the t turning out ofrcoor£by r order of the betfCh, Bay*s:-^"The ejected canine, cast a glance at the judge, for the. purpose of being able to identify him at eomefuturQ time.'' A witty moralist eaya that "many 8 . man thinks it's virtue that keeps bim from turning a rascal, when it ! s only a full stomach. One should be careful, and not mistake potatoes for principles." Geography .—(Scenes-Two little girls at their geography lesson.) *» The Dutch come from Russia, don't them, Maud?" " No, dear I only the duchesses I" The following anecdote was told by a preacher, for a fact : — A preacher was pray> mg, and in.his prayer he-said, "I pray theLord to curtail the power of the devil." Just then an old darkey in the congregation cried :— ** Yes I Amen ! Bress God I Cut him tail right emack, smoove off." A Wester^ paper chronicles marriages in this suggestive style:-—" The couple resolved themselves into a committee 61 two, With powerrto addHalii3eir-number.lt--:. Boys will be boys. A boy in the Clutha had his pocket full of gunpowder, and as he was smoking a cigar stump he saw his mother coming, so he whipped the cigar in' his pocket. The old lady can't find enough of Johnny for the coronor to earn hia regular fee on. She says she never believed in spirits until she saw her boy disappear bo suddenly from right before her face and eye?. ' s There 18 a man in the -Clutha district who always pays for his -newspaper in advance. He 'has never had a rick day in y his life—never had any corns or toothache 'y or chilblains—his potatoes never rot— the weevil never eats his wheat— the frost never kills his corn or beans— his babies never*, ; cry in the night, and his wife never scolds, l and always wears moderate-sized hoops. Reader, if you would witness like feß«Us on your own part, go thou and do likewise. A speaker at a picniofs said to 'have delivered an address of which the following is a sample :— "You ought to be very kind ;--* to your little .sisters, t. onpe knew a bad boy who struck his siater a blow over the ; eye. Although she didn't fade and die iv the summer-time when the June rpsCs werih . blowing, with sweet wofds : o|| ; kin^lSß ; oh her pallid lipvshe roseup and hit him^ove^ -. the head with a rolling- pin, sO thatT'hf; ' couldn't go tothe school for overa, mohtfi% ; on account oi not being able to put on his. hat^ Ay a * •• : .;v -yr : y,\ y AZ_ £ TheiCOngre^at'onaliat •pgel^Obs^ed:. " ••— ■" It is Joiily ih the fh-Sr^tripliftgs f% are preferred. The profesaiena of medicine Ay and la^deifiand. maturity/ The cungr*^- AA gatioris seem to haye.an appetite for* veal^f Ay . Highlanders have the habit, when talking' -'.*:. their English; such _a 9it is v of interjecting; i the personal pronoun he whereat is not re- '.' •', quired, such ias"The king he has^comei" 'in*i *<^ siead of "-The king has cpme.'!:; Often, iti |$ consequence, a sentence of ah -rapr-essi*^ rendered ~ rafficiently.; IMieromAAmyi^&r sequal will show*.. A gentleman -.*say4 be A 'A bar bad the pleasure Of lwteningitoia clever AAj BftSh, the Bey. Mr-?T--i---(let ;K|B;lo^aUty/i>e Afs ■li^ret); andr-went^^^ %us ;• 4t" -My:.%i?ij^,^oui^i,^ ject of discourse this afternoon in^the iEy^^.*" Episiile^Geheray^. jo^^o^y&t^^^^M chapter and eighth r ie'tK^Me^'^de^mi^U iseeßnglvl^^^maylrde *f#i^^pfß^^ Vnbji^ofppritlii^i^ ji--"- >i;«i"*"- "T-'*Vi-.>-;*&^-?'?'^*^.^s*^*^'rtfi^E^S^Sft mtd.-Abw?gfcesw &yi he^the AW^^M^^^SP^^^Bai ! *^od'|hiß^ : **fpM<in^ ! qlxeitio|tiwnic^*ba^ ■*S%h-jti*HjeiuevdfhevwaßiirQ|^g,^