HOW IT STRIKES A STRANGER.

Clutha Leader, Volume I, Issue 3, 23 July 1874, Page 3

HOW IT STRIKES A STRANGER.

PRdFESSOK >OWLEB AGAIN ! (Concluded from our iast) Immediately afterwards, we passed a group of worthies discussing- the situation. " An' wha are ye goin' to fote for, Tonal ?" inquired one. "TaKreker, I sink," said Tdnal. w An' the roight man, too, bejabers," shouted a son of old Erin. " Hach jhan," said the first speaker, »'Ta Krecker no goot. Cot no Mac till her name. " Gen'l'men," said another, solemnly, "my 'pinions is, as you'll hall hallow as there's nothink ekall to 'avin a Mare as knows the run o' the ropes. Now, somethink puts it to me as W Magonall actiwally Jcnbws, genTmen, actiwally. knows the /'run* o' ' them there ropes. Them's my sediments, gen'l'men ; them's my sediments?' " Ay, ay,' ah' Ta Krecker cot no Mac till her name; that's the chief pints, I sink : cot no Mac till her name !" said the first speaker. " Wait a bit, ma lad," said the party" addressed as Tonal, " and you'll see at ta Poll Ta Krecker will have a. Mac at W tail-— far behint. Eh IHalha !" Ta Krecker, thought I to myself; bless me, what does it all mean ? "Don't you think, now," I inquired of my friend, "if one of these citizens is -exalted above his fellows, and r..ised to the judgment seat, it will be necessary to provide an interpreter to render, bis ideas into decent English for him T r "Tush, man," said my friend; "just look here," pointing to aTlamp post(?). " Well," said I, after adjusting my spectacles, " That's very fine." ' J'/ 1/ , It was an ordinary prosaic Municipal/ notice about rate defaulters, or something or other ; but, as I told my friend at the time, it was, I think, the most perfect specimen of penmanship I had seen in all my travels in Europe, Africa, America, and — , "Tasmania?" said my friend ; "just so i well, you see, we have an interpreter here after all, and I think you will allow, a very good one." Hillo! here's a go! Another small gathering of citizens ! A stout, welldressed gentleman, like a country squire, Was gesticulating vigorously and talking fast. He took off his hat, tossed it in the air, caught it on his nose as it came •down, put his hand in his breeches pocket, and drawing out a fistful of papers, consisting of a miscellaneous assortment of bank-notes, old loveletters, bills o£ exchange, prescriptions, 1.0.U.'5, etc., cried out "Gentlemen ! — Gentlemen ; I'm game to lay you fifty pounds to five — money down — fifty pounds to five, gentlemen, that — " !He was interrupted by a hasty message-— , " Ha, Doctaw, you're wanted immediately, please," said the messenger ; and added, in a stage whisper, " Mrs. Thingummy, you know; -ha ! hum !" j The gentleman addressed as " Doc?-/' taw" thrust tha papers into his pocket,' and hurried away, The individual who j immoned him ■'calmly took his place, j • .id winking elaborately at the t citizens i '1 round, remarked " Be jabbers, an' that's a fiver, anyhow." " What d'ye say, chaps, if we hae a shout 1" inquired an anxious-looking young man, who stood with his hands very deepinhis pockets, and his hat at the back of his head. " I think I hae half-a-croon here. No, by Hocky, I maun i hae lost it. I put it in my inside coat pooch, an' it's gane. No, it's here yet ; I teel it ; it's got inside the linin', if I could only Teach it; oh, it's just straicht ahint in the tail o' ; my coat." / It was an anxious moment. All eyes were turned to him as he commenced slowly to revolve on his axis, like a dog following its tail, trying in vain to reach the outskirts, where the coin was deposited. " Oh, cut the confounded thing out," cried a practical man with a clasp knife, and so saying, he seized the coat tail, and cut out the half-crown. He then tossed it high in the air, and when it fell at his feet, the citizens gathered anxiously in a circle to see the result. "It's a woman," was the general opinion. I looked about but could sse c no. woman anywhere. " Come awa' chaps," said the owner of the halfcrown; " Professor, will ye jine us?" "We "jin'd," and followed into the bar of the* nearest hotel , t As a professor^ I have a partiality for mild liquors,*.and I took a little sherry, just a mere toothful, and it did me no harm. The favorite tipple, however, went down, under the name of Hennessey. Our entertainer, the owner of the half-crown, said that for himself, he was & teetotaler; and would just " tak a wee drap veenigar beeters to drink Mac's.; health." The barman winked^ andr^filliug his glass up with p.b., added two drops of Hmters. This concoction, after wishing . success to Mac, he drank off with intense satisfaction, observing as he did so, "Eh, but thae's grand beeters ye keep in this Jabpse; I'll hae to tell Jopr Lodge o' Gude Templars abbot them-r-

--they'll a' come here for their beeters, I'm sure they will. Noo, hoo muckle's that I have to pay ? Let me see :■ there's five/os, and my sel, that's six; five times six is thirty— that's twa and six; that'll be a halfrdroon, joost. Here's, jre're siller, Mr. Barman. Eh, but thae's grand beeters ye keep-." The drinks beitig sixpence each, it seems to me there was some screw loose in the Scotchman's calculation, and the utterly bewildered look of that honest publican as he doubtfully took the coin will haunt me for many a day." [Note.— At this point we regret to say the Professor's letter gets quite illegible, and we can neither make head nor tail of it* In one passage, he writes rapturously of Balclutha, and calls it a " oully place," He also says the people altogether are bricks, and he frankly admits that the way they go to work with a knife and fork has fairly opened his eyeS ; and his mouth, too, we have no doubt. On applying to his friend, we find that the learned gentleman, on the only night he spent in the city, attended two committee meetings, one in the interests of each of the two claimants for the Mayor's chair, When he retired to rest at a late hour his boots, it seems, accompanied him to bed, He left by coach next morning, but before leaving presented his friend with the following interesting document, " 1,0, U, five pounds, stg. ; signed, Professor J, W, Jowler." On the back of this paper, the following mysterious characters— evidently Sanscrit, or some other Oriental language — were written in the Professor's own distinguished fist : " Donty ouwi shyo urn ayge tit." N,B,—We understand the above interesting document may be purchased for a consideration.]