Death, grief as part of life’s fabric

Press, 13 December 1989, Page 22

Death, grief as part of life’s fabric

Thought to be the first of its kind in the Southern Hemisphere, an exhibition at the Nelson Provincial Museum looks at former customs of mourning and grief. It has been prepared with the wish to respect the feelings of all who visit it: To honour the dead, and to encourage the discussion of death and grieving as part of the whole fabric of life.

With this thought, the butterfly was chosen as an exhibition symbol. When the caterpillar is coming to the end of its life, it becomes encased in a coffin-like cocoon, but this is not the end. A butterfly emerges to begin a new

life. This helps to explain death and grief to children. Death is a part of life and needs to be lived through, grieving a natural process that helps those bereaved to accept their loss.

During the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, there were established social customs for European society, providing mourners with a well-known structure for their grieving, the length of time for mourning; the correct clothing and even the type of jewellery to wear, depending on one’s social status. Today, many people have no rituals allowing the expression of

emotions and no outward signs of bereavement, but the Victorians covered most aspects of the subject. Their customs reached a height at the time of Prince Albert’s death, when Queen Victoria went into a period of mourning which, in fact, lasted for the remaining 40 years of her life.

In the ’’Good Grief” exhibition this summer are things people can touch, look at and listen to.

There are displays of Victorian mourning jewellery, clothing, photographs, books to read, a 10minute tape encouraging people to look at the positive side of mourning, and items which

people tend to see only at funerals. There is an open coffin with coffin fittings. Tombstones old and new and rare mourning clothing and jewellery are being displayed for the first time at the museum. A beautiful black onyx and pearl-encrusted mourning brooch spt in gold is one highlight of the jewellery section, which also contains a cuff band made from hair and a bracelet woven from hair.

Since hair did not decompose and could be woven, plaited and knotted into various shapes and designs/ it was an obvious tang-

ible reminder of a loved one. Another tribute to the relative was a photograph of the grave with a member of the family posing beside it or, in some cases, a photograph of the deceased or the funeral.cortege. In the case of a child, remembering that photographs were generally taken by professional photographers, the photgraph of a dead child may be the only one the grieving family has to send to relatives. Since the museum has the largest collection of negatives and photographs in the country, there are many covering various aspects of mourning, including

Maori and Europea funeral processions and gath -ings. This is not an eaibition about voyeurism, but an onest attempt to present- differat aspects of grief and moumii in the hope that a subject vhich many people feel uncon ortable about can be discussed jenly. Dr John Rudge the museum director, says tine has been positive feedback with many saying it is high me such an idea was put into ractice. Much of th exhibition material has core from the museum’s pennant t collections, with help from he National Museum and funeri directors.