Bits of derring-do

Press, 22 August 1989, Page 19

Bits of derring-do

Ken Strongman on television

The heroic avdenturers of the modem world are the stockmarket gamblers and the tycoons of industry. Somehow, though, the thought of thumping the boardroom table doesn’t have quite the same appeal as swinging on lianas through the steaming jungle, or hanging by fingernails on the edge of a crevasse. So, in spite of it being a trailer for the latest Indiana Jones, Friday’s “Great Adventurers and their Quests” was timely. Spielberg is a clever devil, no doubt about it. He has created the perfect adventurer with Harrison Ford and his stuntman double. Indiana Jones turns from mildmannered archeologist to wryly amused, quickthinking hero without the need of a telephone booth to struggle into his cape. It is almost a relief that in these sophisticated times, proper heroes can still inspire. This was an American programme, so there was the obligatory introducer, Dennis Weaver, looking like a dessicated lizard in

the desert. There was also the usual inescapable hyperbole — “Nature provides the ultimate challege” ... “Mother Nature took the upper hand” ... “An inspiration to all of us who dare to make our dreams come true."

Ignoring all this, the programme was good escapist fun. It is always intriguing to see the professionals arranging film stunts, but it was even more intriguing to see real-life adventurers still managing to find bits of derring-do in the world. Among the more unusual of them was one man who proved the existence of zombies (it’s all done with drugs) in Haiti, for his Harvard Ph.D. But a delight was a Frenchman who put up with all manner of “Boys Own” horrors (leeches were the least of them) to find the headhunters of Borneo. Matters did not become much easier when he found them. “Went day, sermthing felt strange in the village. My erneasiness grew.” He was right to feel ernease; he was in a pit full of

killer ants before he could say “Ooaghooaghoo.”

There was a man who lives by extracting venom from snakes — he has been bitten 148 times — and another who spent 17 years finding sunken Spanish treasure. The biggie though is Sir Ranulf Ffffiennes. Among other things, he made a threeyear journey, on foot, round the earth, including both poles.

Ran, as he was called, really is in the grand tradition. He doesn’t just go anywhere, he goes everywhere. He looks the part and has the properly laconic way with words. “If you fall in you don’t have all that long to live, so you don’t fall in” ... “In real life there are no stunt men around.” Caught up in the thrills of all this, I was just wondering why there are no women adventurers (aah, there’s one for the feminists to hang their bras on), when one turned up. In nine days, three minutes and 44 seconds, she (and a bloke) flew non-stop round the world in a plane which looked

like it had been folded out of paper by a schoolboy. Nine days. How did they manage to ... no, it’s best not to know. In a similar vein, and although this is surely heading on to dangerous ground, Friday’s “Mar ried, with Children” is very funny. It is rabidly sexist, although the women have the upper hand. The fellow-travel-ling feminist I know best was chortling away, in spite of her better judgment.