Reporter’s diary

Press, 28 July 1989, Page 5

Reporter’s diary

Olivier’s choice

ONE of the last campaigns that Lord Olivier mounted before his death was to reinstate the noble kipper on the breakfast menu on board British trains. His efforts were successful and kippers reappeared on the menu. Along came Lord Olivier travelling on the Brighton Belle. Along came the dining room steward. “Good morning Lord Olivier,” said the steward. “Kippers?” Lord Olivier: “No thank you. Bacon and egg.” Steward (bewildered): “But I thought you wanted kippers.” Lord Olivier: “No. I wanted the choice.” Writing on the wall WEDNESDAY morning’s heavy frost gave a Paparua Prison inmate a little creative leeway during his van trip into Christchurch for a court appearance. Etched in the frostcovered rear window were the words “Tapsell’s Service, Ltd.”

Persian rucks?

FULL marks to the Polytechnic student sitting a test in Office English who was supposed to have given the answer “Alexander the Great” to one of the questions. Instead the answer given was “Alex Wyllie,” which the tutor thought was just as good. Oh no? Oh, yes WOE. The June meeting of the Canterbury branch of the New Zealand Institute of Chemistry was cancelled at the last moment because of a mix-up in plans. Those members who turned up were, however, undaunted. According to the branch’s July-August newsletter, “the alternative venue (the Russley Hotel) proved to be a reasonable concession.” Grime fighters? VISITORS to Cambridge (of the British variety) might care to drop in to what promises to be an intriguing coherence

soon. The Society of Chemical Industry is calling the gathering “Recent Advances in the Detergent Industry,” reports the “Financial Times.” Speikers will include Dr J. K. Grime, of Proctor and Gamble, and Dr D. L. Muck, of PQ Corporation. Base reading FROM a parish magazine: “Members who have borrowed novels from the library in the Church Hall are asked to return them at their earliest convenience as our fiction is very low and there is great demand for it.” Delighted pewpool? A 16-year-old brazenly annotated his form teacher’s calendar by adding his birthday. The day arrived last week, and he got the hoped-for response. It was a card, signed "from an inglish teechur.” —Jenny Setchell.