Stress can be managed by learning to say no

Press, 30 March 1989, Page 10

Stress can be managed by learning to say no

By

JUDI SHEPPARD MISSETT

Q. We’re a “twocareer” family. We accomplish an awful lot, but I’m worried about stress, which I know is harmful. How do we keep stress under control? A. You’re right about stress being harmful. It seems somehow to reduce our resistance to other ailments. It can bring on everything from hives to headaches to many more serious troubles. Unfortunately, few of us are in a position to influence the sources of our stress. But we can learn to handle it better, so it’s not quite so devastating. You say that you both accomplish a great deal. Probably, then, you’ve discovered the virtue of organisation. If you plan ahead, establish achievable goals, draw up priority lists, and write reminders to yourself, you become more efficient and feel less pressure to get things done.

The danger, though, is in being too organised — in scheduling your waking hours so fully that you don’t leave time for relaxation.

If that’s the case, consider scaling back on your commitments. Learn the fine art of saying no, so that you can say yes to some stress-relieving activities instead.

Avoid procrastination.

Getting done everything that needs doing can be stressful enough without your adding the urgency of doing jobs at the last minute. Another stress reduction technique is learning to make the best use of leisure. Dr Geoff Godbey, a leisure expert, believes few of us really understand the nature of leisure time. He says, “True leisure time involves losing a sense of time, losing a sense of self, and giving

onself over entirely to an activity.” The way to accomplish all that, according to Godbey, is to “own less, do less, and say no more often.”

Dr Godbey says we ought to schedule at leat one element of our lives. He believes firmly in carving out slices of time to nurture relationships.

Even two-career couples should make time for each other, he insists, even if they have to make

formal appointments. Mr Godbey also thinks making dates to do absolutely nothing is a good idea. That way, you give yourself permission to spend the time relaxing, enjoying your leisure. People also find that they’re able to reduce their stress levels substantially with regular exercises. Many scientific studies prove it. Dr Herbert A. deVries, author of “Exercise and Mental Health,” says regular exercise can reduce tension levels by as much as 25 per cent. —Copyright Jazzercise.