Reporter’s diary

Press, 17 December 1988, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Changing banks OH dear, now the Democratic Party have got the huff about the sale of the Bank of New Zealand. The deputy leader, Terry Heffernan, said that the party had been loyal to the B.N.Z. because it was the only trading bank that belonged to New Zealand. “Now that Labour is selling it off for 30 pieces of silver, that reason no longer exists,” sniffed Mr Heffernan. The party will look for the best deal somewhere else. At least they have got something to stash away. Fitting music POSITIVELY the last mention of Handel’s “Messiah” — for at least another year. A reader, prompted by the idea of “Sheep may Safely Graze” as the ideal butcher’s funeral music, suggests that two numbers from the “Messiah” would also be appropriate for other occupations. “How Beautiful are the Feet” would send off a chiropodist nicely, and the lines from the chorus, “The Lord Gave the Word,” “Great

was the company of the preachers,” would suit the clergy. Initial components CRYPTIC crossword fans will enjoy learning of the person who has been pondering Government department initials. The anonymous writer asks, what do they really stand for? Take the D.S.I.R. he/ she suggests. “Once'upon a time, perhaps desire encompassed D.S.I.R. with ease.” (E’s ... think about it) “But now staff are wondering if D.S.I.R. may be just a part of Dies Irae — the day of wrath.” Any ideas for M.0.T., M.A.F., A.C.C.? Pear-tree time JUST a gentle warning to ardent swains: fulfilling the carol “On the First Day of Christmas, My True Love Sent to Me,” is a messy and expensive business (to say nothing of the likelihood that your poppet may never forgive you). The list of the beasts, jewellery and the whole noisy cast is im-

pressive: 12 pear trees with 12 perching partridges, 22 turtle doves, 30 French hens, 36 calling birds, 40 gold rings, 42 geese (laying, into the bargain), 42 swans aswimming, 40 maids amilking (so they’ll need cows to be a-milking of), 36 ladies dancing, 30 lords a-leaping, 22 pipers piping and 12 drummers drumming. Yes, you may drive your heart’s desire crazy, but your credit card company will love you for it.

Altrusa tournament GOLFERS may be interested in the annual Altfusa Club of New Brighton Charity Golf tournament, to be played on January 15, 1989, at the Windsor Golf Club. The tournament began 10 years ago, when the proceeds, $402.30, went to the International Handicapped Children organisation. Proceeds have increased each year, to $1720. More than $lO,OOO has been given to organisations such as the Foundation for the Blind,

St John Ambulance, Burwood Hospital, Red Cross 500 Club, the Toy Library, the Cancer Society, Cholmondeley Home. Anyone wishing to play or make a donation to this year’s cause, literacy in the community, • should get in touch with Adair Oates, phone 889-551. Aractbrottlegurglic JUST in time for Christmas, psychiatrists have found a new phobia. It’s called arachibutyrophobia. That means, since you ask, the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. Try saying it and experience something similar to having the roof of your mouth plastered with peanut butter. Heer, beer! AIR New Zealand’s Public Affairs Department speaks from the heart in a Christmas greeting card sent to clients in the media. “Wishing you bags of Christmas cheer, and a typo-free Neu Yeer.” —Jenny Setchell