Reporter’s diary

Press, 7 October 1988, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

False alarm AMAZINGLY, the Irish manage to keep a sense of humour in spite of the tension they have to live with. The “Daily Telegraph” recounted the story of one of its journalists who was visiting Londonderry. Cashing a cheque at a bank, he was taken aback when a car screeched to a halt outside, disgorging a squad of armed policemen who burst through the doors and pointed their guns in his direction — all because the bank’s burglar alarms had been set off by mistake. He was allowed to walk free, but not before a nearby priest had commented, “Heavens, man. For a moment I thought you must have one mighty overdraft.” Sorry, wrong number IT seemed a good idea at the time to look up sewing pattern numbers in an-

other shop’s catalogue; then to trot down to Ballantyne’s were queues of people waited patiently to thumb through the same catalogues of patterns that were selling at $1 instead of the usual $7 or $7.50. But what’s this? Oh, no. “The catalogues must be different, madam. Very sorry. These numbers are useless. Sigh.” Go to end of queue. Tongue in check BRUSH your tongue daily, is the latest advice reported in the New Zealand Dental Health foundtion bulletin. Cleaning the tongue gets rid of trapped food particles, bacteria and bits of discarded mouth lining. Eating fibrous food also helps keep the tongue squeaky clean. The writer obviously had not told that to people to whom the mere thought of tongue-brushing is as abhorrent as blackboardnailing, dry-potato-fon-dling or linen-sheet-touch-ing. all ghastly.

Eye on the voters WHATEVER you do, Mr Lange, if you want to stay in office keep your glasses on the don’t get contact lenses. The West German Chancellor, Helmut Kohl, who recently appeared in public without his familiar steelrimmed spectacles, has had to put them back on. A discreet opinion poll revealed that 90 per cent of West Germans — women as well as men — preferred a bespectacled Chancellor. Which is all very reassuring for the myopic majority of us who feel right berks wearing the things. Making way SOME common little courtesies are still followed in the skies. When Captain Delphine Gray-Fisk, in a Dan-Air Boeing 727, wanted to overtake an aircraft at the same altitude, air traffic control told the slower plane to drop in height. Its captain protested that the faster jet should have changed course, but was admon-

ished by the French traffic control, “But the pilot is a lady.” Empty Lada? SOVIET-made Ladas are again the butt of vehicle jokes this spring. Two lines doing the rounds are, “Why does a Lada have heated rear windows?” Answer: “To keep your hands warm when you’re pushing it.” And: “How do you double a Lada’s value?” answer: “Put in a litre of petrol.” Tricky connection IS it just one of those painful coincidences? President Richard Nixon has chosen Sidgwick and Jackson to publish the British edition of his book, “1999?” The company’s telegraphic address is: Watergate, London. Bass Line THE bumper sticker for International Music Week: “Theatre musicians are the pits.” Jenny Setchell