Reporter’s diary

Press, 30 September 1988, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Ever felt like this? WHEN a teenager travelling in a non-smoking train compartment in Britain lit a cigarette, a woman asked him politely to stop. The Press Association reports that the youth refused, so the woman ’ repeated her request. The youth’s response was to light two more cigarettes. Seizing a fire extinguisher, the woman aimed it at him and didn’t stop firing until it was empty — to the accompanying cheers of fellow passengers. Then, as water dripped from the furious smoker’s clothes, the passengers had to step in to prevent him striking the woman. She calmly sat down and continued reading her newspaper. Going by the bored THUMBING through copies of an architectural magazine, Mr Ernest Kalnins, of Sumner, found a quotation from the Danish philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard, which he thought particularly topical. In “Either/Or: A Fragment of Life” (1843), Kierkegaard wrote: “The Gods were bored, so they created man. Adam was bored because he was alone, so Eve was created. Then Adam and Eve got bored together. Then Adam and Eve and Cain and Abel got bored en famille. Then the population of the world in-

creased and people got bored en masse. To amuse themselves they hit on the idea of building a tower high enough to reach Heaven. This idea is in itself as boring as the tower is high and is a dreadful proof of how boredom has gained the upper hand.” The sentiments may be 145 years old but they are “food for thought indeed as ever increasing highrise fills our skyline,” said Mr Kalnins. Are umpires numps? MIKE Gatting, ' Chris Broad and any other cricketers who feel unjustly treated by the Pakistani umpires, have found a valuable ally in an accountants’ magazine. After studying 436 test matches in all countries in 20 years up to 1986, “The Associate” magazine concludes that the number of batsmen given out lbw is much the same for both sides — except, surprise, surprise, in Pakistan. In Britain, Englishmen have been lbw 242 times, visitors 223 times. But in Pakistan, the hosts have been lbw only 69 times against their guests’ 150 times. ’ It’s almost, well, not cricket. A nitem UMPIRES, incidentally, share one thing in common with adders, augers, and aprons: they all lost an initial “n” somewhere

in Middle English, when the indefinite article became “an” rather than "a” by taking the N. A ninteresting thought, huh? Is it worth ... ONE dollar does not buy very much. But it can buy some rather curious things. Like water, as reported by “Metro” magazine. At Riffe Raffe, a restaurant in Auckland, you could “hand over a dollar and the waitperson will hand you back a nice glass of iced water.” At book fairs, you can get 60-year-old “Boys Own” annuals (and weeks of happy memories), and in some restaurants and cafes, you could be lucky enough to get a cup of coffee for $l, or even — wow! — for less. ... a dollar? STILL in the dining line, a dollar will buy a plastic bag of bread to feed the ducks at Mona Vale. Which is what a Fendalton resident is complaining about. Responsibility for the sale of the bread is taken by a Mr Takei, who asked the Mona Vale management committee for permission to sell the bags to tourists. The resident claims that the cost, of $1 a bag is “an overt display of tourist exploitation.” The management committee says the $1 covers the cost of bread, bags, travel and “overheads.” But the disgruntled resident is adamant. “Even the most unsuspecting tourist must surely be able to see beyond a few stale breadcrumbs.” Euphemistically speaking POSITIVELY blooming with pride at being an English speaker is Mr J. F. Williams, who wrote to say how delighted he was to hear the term creative accountancy. Said Mr Williams: “They used to call it cooking the books.” —Jenny Setchell t;