Reporter’s diary

Press, 16 August 1988, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Waste of time

PITFALLS of the English language. A young woman who has not lived long in this country, normally copes admirably with the vagaries of English. During the week-end, she took bags of rubbish to the Bromley Metro Refuse Station. Seeing the word “refuse” on the sign at the entrance, she promptly turned around and drove back home — with the bags. Spare her some sympathy when she tackles words like flammable and inflammable ... Mjo will buy? HOLD tight for the garage sale of the century — when World Expo 88 winds up, it will be a bargain hunter’s paradise. On sale will be fixtures and fittings from Expo, including eight PVCcoated polyester sunsails,

one Piazza, 150,000 plants, 25 toilet blocks, several dozen dishwashers, and about 40 pavilions. How about buying a friend one of the four-restaurants, or, for the woman who has everything, one of three information builings? Even the 88-metre high Sky Needle is looking for a buyer. Now, that would look just dinky in Victoria Square. Takes all sorts A COUPLE who first met at a bowling alley were married in the front car of a roller coaster in Valencia, California, during the week-end. “By starting their marriage on a roller coaster” said the Rev. Bill Wood as he dipped and soared on the

swaying Colossus thrillride, “they must vow to ride through life together in motion sickness and in health, as well as through bumps, jumps and the 110-foot drops that life can bring.” The ups and downs, in other words. Getting the bird UNSOLICITED wolf whistles are not restricted to mechanical parrots. A St Albans man, old-ish and (he assures us) eminently respectable, lives in an area that boasts a magpie that wolf whistles — piercingly and unexpectedly. Recently, as our man was working in his front garden, unaware that the bird was nearby, a wolf whistle sounded from behind him. He

would like the woman, who happened to be passing just then, to know that he was not responsible — it was the feathered minx, out of sight, that she should blame. Biting edge ROTTWEILER dogs have teeth. Lots of them. But obviously not enough for one person who advertised in “The Press” on Saturday: “Rottweiler bitch, swap for big chainsaw or sell. Phone ...” It certainly is the first guard chainsaw we have heard of. Hairy tale OH for the days when the Sergeant-Major simply bellowed, “Get your hair

cut, you 'orrible little man!” Now, soldiers — and civilian hangers-on — have to wade through wordy instructions, such as these issued to those taking part in a military exercise overseas: “Haircuts: 22. All contingent personnel are to have haircuts which conform to the requirements of DCO(A) Vol 11, Part 9, Chap 1, Annex B before deployment.” Are you clear, Sweeny? Gidday JOYOUS spring greetings to the staff in the Department of Health: in particular to the manager of the Health Promotion programme, Bette Kill.

—Jenny Setchel I