Random reminder

Press, 16 August 1988, Page 32

Random reminder

THIS LITTLE PIGGY .

The supermarket was a strange place to find a live pig, to say the least. There, where the trolleys were usually parked, amid bales of straw and behind strong bars, was Percy. A notice attached to the barricade advised customers that if they could correctly guess Percy’s weight, they could be the lucky recipients of a considerable amount of pork. (Whether it would be the remains of Percy was not divulged.) She picked up her application form at the meat counter and puzzled over old Percy for a while. She supposed she should give his weight in kilos, but. the problem was that she wasn’t too familiar with metric weights. Now about how much would Percy weigh in pounds and ounces? There were 2.2 pounds to a kilo ... it was all getting very complicated. One of the butchers saw her agonising over what was for her a rather large mathematical problem and shook his head. Looking at her wildly inaccurate calculations and looking furtively around, he whispered “Try a figure not too far under 80 kilos.” Profoundly grateful, she revised her answer before posting it into the entry box. Continuing

her shopping in the supermarket, she saw the butcher again. “If I win,” she said, in a moment of magnanimity (and sure that she wouldn’t), “You can come to dinner.” A week later she received a telephone call from the manager of the supermarket where Percy had been resident. “I have to inform you,” he said, knowing himself to be the bearer of good tidings, “That you are the winner of our Percy the Pig Pork Competition.” He then gave her a date and time at which the presentation was to take place. She was elated. Never before had she won so much as a box of chocolates. She rang family and friends; told her work colleagues and wrote to long-lost relations about her win. The day of the presentation arrived and, amid handshaking and photograph-taking, she received her prize. Out of the corner of her eye however, she saw the butcher standing expectantly by. Well, she must keep her promise and issue the invitation. It wasn’t as if there wouldn’t be enough meat and, anyway, if it came to it, he could have her share. After all, she was, a vegetarian. v i