Beach life not Brits’ forte

Press, 15 August 1988, Page 1

Beach life not Brits’ forte

NZPA-AAP London One British newspaper has decided it is better if the British keep away from the sun, surf and sand because “we are just no good at beaches”. The “Independent” compared one of Britain’s best known beaches, Brighton, with one of Australia’s — Bondi. The end result was that the British had neither the physique to display nor beaches good enough on which to play. “We really shouldn’t be allowed on beaches,” the “Inde-

pendent” said. “We haven’t got beach bodies or beach class or beach style. We’ve got beach cricket but even that’s no good at Brighton. The pebbles don’t take spin bowling and there’s no life in a shingle wicket.” By comparison the newspaper* said beach life on the “other side of the world” revealed “steak-fed families with their sun-bleached children, honey-coloured bodies under a cobalt sky where the sand is warm, the beachwear

bright and it fits rather well too”.

“Then there is a peculiar thing you don’t immediately notice as being different from us in Brighton — Bondi has people swimming in the sea.” The British don’t need shark warnings to keep them out of the sea — pollution is enough, but the water temperature is also discouraging. Although London had its hottest day so far this year last Saturday at 28 deg., the sea at Brighton was 17deg.

The “Independent” said one would be lucky to find a greyskinned, 10-year-old shark floating in the sea (the younger are more adventurous) but if he were he would be among punk-coloured fastfood litter.

“In England, the colour is in the rubbish and not in the people,” it said. “We’re good at desks, at dinner parties, in bars, restaurants and in the clever bits of bourgeois life, but we are no good at beaches.”