Reporter’s diary

Press, 11 July 1988, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Not John A Catholic parish in Wigan, Britain, invested in a personal computer capable of printing orders of service for, among other things, funerals. A simple command inserts the person’s name in standard prayers. It was successfully used for the funeral of Mary Someone. Then it was the turn of John Oranother. The operator keyed in the command: “Delete Mary, insert John throughout,” which was fine, until the congregation found itself being asked to pray “Hail John, full of grace...” Team wok SAINTS preserve us — the Chinese are taking up cricket! In August, a team led by the former Australia and England captains, Bob Simpson and Tony Greig, will play novice Chinese cricket teams in Peking, Canton and Hong Kong. A dozen of China’s top sportsmen are learning the rules of the game and practising in the nets for the Friendship Tour. Presumably the local speciality will be

the “Chinaman” — the left-arm bowler’s offbreak. Handy types A blitz on pickpockets in Rome for two days last week netted 29 villains — only one of whom was Italian. The rest were visitors, on a working holiday, so to speak. Of the remaining 28, 15 were South American, and the rest were from North Africa or Yugoslavia. Mr Roberto Nash, who directs the anti-pickpocket squad, estimates that international pickpockets working in the tourist zone in the height of the season will haul in $17,000 of goods a day.

Precision IF you thought 1987 dragged a bit more than the usual 365-day year, you were right. An ordinary year has 31,536,000 seconds, but 1987 had 31,536,0v1. The extra second is the result of a kind of gentleman’s agreement between the world's timekeepers, who had decreed that a "leap second” be inserted between 1987 and 1988. This

is -to keep in step with the Earth’s irregular but gradually slowing rotation. On average, the Earth’s rotation has been slowing at the rate of about one thousandth of a second a day. The additional second is needed every so 'often to bring clocks back into line.

Bone of contention SOME 250 couples have had to endure married life with each other just a little longer because the divorce court judge in Buxtehude, West Germany, slipped a disc. The judge, reports the Press Association, is the only one for 70,000 inhabitants and has been on sick leave since January. The state of Saxony refuses to hire extra judges, because of the cost, so couples have little hope of early divorces. Catnipped WARMER weather in Britain seems to bring the eccentrics put. Dr Peter Wilde, a specialist in plant oil extraction techniques, who is based in North Yorkshire, was ap-

proached by a farmer in Devon, who asked if he could prepare a lure to capture the elusive Exmoor Beast. The beast, thought to be either a puma or jaguar, has been blamed for the deaths of ponies and sheep on Devon moorland for many years. Dr Wilde is equal to the task. Cats cannot resist catnip; a jaguar or puma is a cat. Therefore, a bait prepared with catnip should snaffle the animal. Half a tonne of catnip will be used to extract sufficient oil to spray round the beast’s habitat. When it strays from its lair, hunters using infrared equipment will pounce. Rough enough CRUEL definitions department: an economist is someone, who, if you have forgotten your telephone number, will give you an approximation. Excuses, excuses NEW light on an old excuse. The sickie: Single Income, Coupla Kids in Error. —Jenny Setchell