‘Conditioned to accept violence’

Press, 5 March 1988, Page 16

‘Conditioned to accept violence’

DEBORAH talks to members of Women Against ■Violence about their \ quest for a mipre peaceful society. The women' asked that only their first names be j ii published; to protect) their anonymity.!

Women Against Violence admit they are a feminist group, but fervently ; deny the label, “manhaters.” ■

“Feminism iis often equated with malehaters, but we are pro-women,” states one member of the group, Daphne.

“What we hate is the violence that requires organisations like us. If men also hated the sort of behaviour which led to women being the subject of their anger and violence, we would be made redundant,” she adds.

Women Against Violence acts as an umbrella group for several women’s groups that provide shelter or refuge ifor battered and sexually abused women, including the Christchurch Women’s Refuge, Rape Crisis, Incest Survivors, and Women Against Pornography. The group also runs the Women’s Drop-In Centre, which is based in the Atlantis; building in Cathedral Square. Women Against Violence sees ! its role as providing I preventative education against violence, and ! Government lobbying. It also provides a supportive atmosphere at the dropdn centre, where women can go for , information ;or referral to doctors or lawyers after leaving a refuge or shelter.

The group hopes to make the community more aware of its work during an awareness week from March 11 to 18.

More women volunteers with good listening skills are also needed,' for the drop-in centre, j Members agr;ee they would like to see more men making ja stand against violence.

“Instead of telling themselves not to get involved, or saying ‘she asked for it’, |it would be good to see men telling their mates, ‘l’m not going to drink or play sport with you because you are vio-

■ lent’,” says Daphne. | Mental abuse is just as demoralising for a woman as physical abuse, and it is "doubly difficult” for her to leave such a relationship, says another member, Faye. I

People wonder why battered women do not leave an obviously violent I relationship. Often the ; women do not want to I leave what little security I they have left at home, ; and they do not want to

leave their children, she explains. “It sounds illogical, but it’s also really hard 1 for some women to leave their possessions and furniture behind.” Women are also often cut off from their friends by their husbands or partners, because of threatening behaviour. Women dependent on a male financial!, also find it difficult to leave, because they have been denied access to joint bank accounts. Male support groups that have already formed, such as Men Against Rape, are heartening to see, says Daphne.

While alcohol abuse is often a “release” for anger, it is not the cause of violence, she emphasises.

“The cause of violence is patriarchy, this male dominant thing. If you regard certain members of society as less than you, you will feel free to be violent toward that particular group of people," she explains. Another member, Liane, asserts that it seems a paradox that even other women seem threatened by feminism/ when changes for the good of women were effected by feminists. She believes people are really afraid of change, even if that means living in a peaceful community. “People are conditioned to accept violence as a way of life, so even a change for the better is a threat, because people are threatened by change.”