Children respond to praise and prompting

Press, 3 December 1987, Page 12

Children respond to praise and prompting

“Toilet Training Toddlers” outlines a sevenstep toilet training programme which has been developed and used successfully at the Leslie Centre. Communicating with words Once your children are able to communicate verbally with you, introduce the words that say they are clean or dirty, wet or dry, smelly or messy. Most families have family words for urine and faeces. It doesn’t matter what words you use, as long as you and your child understand what you are talking about. Showing by example The best way to teach your children where you want them to put their urine and faeces is by example. Let your children come into the toilet room with you. Tell them they are getting big enough to go to the toilet like Dad and Mum or big brother or sister. Let

them know you’ll be thrilled if they do.

Learning by practising To use the toilet properly, children have to learn to do things for themselves. While It might seem easier and less time consuming to do things for them, without practice they never learn or even want to learn to toilet train themselves. The specific skills which you need to teach, and which your child needs to practise, are dressing and getting on and off the toilet or potty. Let your child wear loose-fitting clothes that are easy to manage. Make sure the potty or toilet is easy to find and comfortable to sit on. Take locks off the doors so that children cannot give themselves a fright by locking themselves in. Building confidence You can help build up your children’s confidence by noticing, praising

and encouraging their ef-» forts and achievement in all areas of their growing up. These things may seem trivial to you, but once a task is well learned, your child will continue doing it, and you will be able to look for more grown-up things to praise. Prompting By prompting your children, you can help them listen to their bodies and decide to use the potty or the toilet, even when they are in the middle of something else they’d much rather be doing. The words you use are important, as is the way you respond to their questions and answers. For example: Parent: “Do the wees/ poos want to come now?” Child: “Yes” or perhaps “No.” Parent: “Where do wees/ poos go?” Child: “Wees/poos go in the toilet.”

Parent: “Do you want to put your wees/poos in the toilet now or later?”

Child: (The hoped for answer) “Yes, now.” Parent: “Do you want me to come with you or are you big enough to go on your own?” or “Are you going to walk or run to the toilet? I’ll give you a race.”

If the children refuse to answer or say they don’t know, suggest what you would like them to do: “I will be so pleased if you remember to be a big boy/girl and keep your pants dry/clean by putting your wees/poos in the toilet.”

Having asked the questions and given the appropriate prompts, that has to be the end of the matter. Remember, you cannot control your children’s bodies, only they can.

Preventing?

accidents

Accidents are inevitable, but with your coaching, they can be minimised. Prompt them to be aware of their bodies’ messages and provide them with plenty of opportunities to take responsibility for themselves. As your children’s

coach, you must make clear what you expect of them and insist they take responsibility. When accidents occur, don’t growl, nag, explain or reason. This doesn’t mean that you have to look pleased. You’re not Be honest with your child by being matter of fact Keep your anger to yourself. Deal with it later In a way you know works for you. When you notice your children are wet or dirty, say, “You have wet/dirty pants. What did you forget?” All going well, they will say something like “I forgot to go to the toilet” If they refuse to answer, remind them of what they should have done and then deal with the wet or dirty pants with the minimum of fuss. Let your childten do as much of the cleaning up of themselves as possible.

If they refuse to change or to clean up when you know they are capable of doing so, deal with this as you would any other time your children refuse to do as they are told. Refusing to do what they are capable of has nothing to do with toilet training but everything to do with compliance or learning to do as they are told. Praising and encouraging Praise every small step your children make towards being in charge of their bodies. If they come and tell you they have wet pants, at least they are aware of what has happened.

Praise them and ask what they forgot Praise each accomplishment such as telling you they need to go, pulling their pants up or down, sitting quietly on, or using the toilet, wiping themselves, washing their hands, or keeping dry for periods of the day — and encouraage the next

Rewards can offer an extra incentive to learn.

The task of achieving day and night dryness is a complex one, Phyllis Brock warns. A few children achieve success within a few days, but most take weeks or even months. ■