Friendship to help you cope with loss

Press, 30 November 1987, Page 12

Friendship to help you cope with loss

Making it happen

The death of a partner is one of the most profound losses we can experience. Suddenly, that other person, who for better or sometimes worse was an integral part of our life and thinking, is no longer there. The world can seem a frightening and empty place. Losing a partner earlier in life has its special grief. We are deprived of the future we planned together — the overseas trip, watching the children or grandchildren grow up, and mutual comfort in old age. Coping with the tasks usually done by the lost partner — whether dealing with money matters, maintaining the house or car, or the cooking and cleaning — can bring added stress. The New Zealand Association for Widows and Widowers was formed 10 years ago both to offer comfort and companionship to bereaved people, and to make the community and Government more aware of their special needs and concerns. The Christchurch branch, one of 25 throughout the country, was formed that same year. Today it has 131 members of varying ages. The group is a lively one. Regular meetings with speakers and demonstrations are held in both

Ina Dunstan ... a caring group can help afternoons and evenings. A young widows and widowers group, for those under 45 with dependent children, holds its own meetings and organises activities for the children.

A caring group sends out letters to bereaved people six weeks after the death of their spouse, letting them know there is a listening ear and company if needed. "We don’t mean to intrude. But we do find many of those who contact us are helped by being able to speak to others in a similar situation,” explains * Ina Dunstan, the branch president.

Several times a year there are outings and at Easter a four or five day trip.

"It gives you something to look forward to. You make more effort to get out if there’s something definite to go out to,” says Myra Cox, the secretary. To celebrate both the national association and the Christchurch branch’s tenth anniversary, a dinner will be held at the Wilding Park Function Centre in Linwood on Thursday, December 10. Cocktails will be served at 6.30 p.m. before the 7.30 p.m. dinner, with entertainment. Tickets are $2O for members and $22 for others. Anyone interested in joining the association, or attending the anniversary dinner, can contact J. Watson, Flat 1, 7 Angela Street, Upper Riccarton, phone 481-659. Drinking and driving A "drinkometer” computer programme, telling people their likely blood alcohol level after a typical drinking session, will be one of the features of a Don’t Drink and Drive day in Cathedral Square oh Thursday, December 10.

The day has been organised by Toward Ending Alcohol Misuse

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(T.E.A.M.), which wants to raise the public’s awareness of drink-drive dangers over the summer holidays, traditionally a heavy drinking time. Other activities planned are visual displays on alcohol abuse in New Zealand, and the amount consumed by New Zealanders (204 bottles of beer, 26 bottles of wine and seven bottles of spirit for each person over 15), street theatre, and a “how many balloons” competition. Otautahi labour pool Setting up work cooperatives is the purpose of a meeting to be held by the Otautahi Women’s Labour Pool on Tuesday, December 8. This is for all women with skills to offer — whether in arts and crafts, business, music, theatre, cooking, organising or working with children.

The meeting will be held at the Resource Centre at 20 Latimer Square, starting at 9.30 a.m.

For more information phone Pip or Julianne at the Resource Centre, phone 69-978 or 64-527, or Mere at 69-601.

Maori women's, meeting A bui to discuss the social problems of Maori women in Aotearoa will be held at Te Rau Oriwa Marae this Saturday, December 5, starting at 9.30 a.m.

This has been organised by the Maori Women’s Welfare League in response to a request from the Social Policy Commission. Those interested in taking part can contact Vron at 66-649 or Aroha at 884586.

Care of the elderly The Oriental Experiences of a Seasoned Traveller is the subject of a talk being given at The Princess Margaret Hospital’s day hospital next Monday, December 7, at 7.30 p.m. The speaker is Alisa .Bailey, who recently returned from international gerontology conferences in both Perth and Bangkok. Her talk is part of a meeting of the Canterbury branch of the New Zealand Association of Gerontology.

The association is concerned with the welfare of elderly people. New •members are always welcome. For more information phone the secretary, Sue Murray, at 63-225.

Dressmaking and design There are still a few vacancies left for next year’s courses at the Christchurch College of Dressmaking, Tailoring and Design. These are in patternmaking and design, dressmaking and tailoring, and for the pre-requi-site year of the new fashion diploma course. All these courses are parttime. The college is in the Peterborough Centre, on the corner of Montreal and Peterborough Streets. For more information, phone Cathy Baker at 64404. Manic depressives Chris Howison, a psychologist at Sunnyside Hospital, will speak at a meeting of the Manic Depressive Society tomorrow evening, December 1. This will be at the Methodist Church, Brake Street, Upper Riccarton, starting at 7 p.m. All members and friends are welcome. The society can be contacted at 135 Grahams Road, Christchurch 5. Guatemala Tim Higham, from the Guatemalan Support Group in Wellington, will speak on Guatemala this

Friday evening, December 4. Tim will show slides of the country. A documentary video, “Widows and Generals,” will also be shown. The talk will be at the Workers’ Educational Association rooms, 59 Gloucester Street, starting at 7.30 p.m. It has been organised by the Christchurch Latin-American Solidarity Group. The evening will also be a farewell to the Christchurch contingent of five leaving to pick coffee in Nicaragua to relieve the labour shortage caused by army recruiting. For more information phone Annette, at 893-023. Compiled by Glenys Walker. Items for this column should reach this office one week before publication. ( Send to Glenys Walker, Making It Happen, Home and People Page, “The Press,” Private Bag, Christchurch.