Reporter’s diary

Press, 9 October 1987, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Cyclonic cyclist Motorists and cyclists in peak traffic travelling along Victoria Street towards the Bealey Avenue intersection were obviously annoyed by a cyclist swishing through the lanes at high speed. Swapping from one lane to another, causing cars to brake and other cyclists to wobble and even dismount the two-wheeled cyclone seemed oblivious to anyone else. From his left handlebar swayed a paper bag. As the cyclist put on a burst of leg power to take him through the amber light, the bag broke, scattering chips, burger and milkshake across the road. Rush-

hour drivers have rarely looked so gleeful. Flies time THE size of flies depends a lot on where they were brought up. This valuable information comes from a study of the eating habits of blow-flies by an Australian researcher, Mr Roger Beckmann. Flies born on good-quality dung grow into large, healthy specimens. Their weedier contemporaries, trying to scratch a meal from a heap of less rich ordure, start their adult life with a protein deficiency. “When it comes to egg production, they need far more protein in their food and must feed more often,” says Mr Beck-

mann. “This could explain why small flies appear to be more of a nuisance than large ones.” He should also have mentioned that they are harder to swat than their more bloated, slothful counterparts. Microfiche and chips COMPUTER buffs understand that the jargon used in high tech realms confounds those who think that a microchip is a little snack. The latest issue of the Christchurch Commodore Users Group’s magazine reprinted some definitions of technical

terms by Jim Vick, of Queensland. They will cause even more confusion. For example, byte, says Mr Vick, is what the vyper does. A supasort is Racquel Welsh, and a program means “in favour of metric weights.” A VDU is a socially diseased sheep, and a remote VDU is a West Australian socially diseased sheep. Debug Is de ting killed wid de mortein, and a macro is a Scottish oarsman. Mr Vick defines syntax as fringe benefit charges, and a kilobaud as 1000 dirty stories. Something to go with the microships? Data source, naturally. — Jenny Feltham