Reporters diary

Press, 16 September 1987, Page 2

Reporters diary

Tea-bagged CHRISTCHURCH South Intermediate School sent a letter to parents about the school’s forthcoming fair — with a teabag stapled to the letter. "Make yourself a nice hot cup of tea,” purrs the letter, “and sit down and share with us how we can make our school fair the best yet.” A novel ploy, which lost a little of its charm when the tea leaves fell out the holes created by the staple. Sai Gai

ANOTHER set-back for the delightful word “gay” — already damaged beyond repair. Tourist officials in Paris, believing that the time-hon-oured phrase “Gay Paris” is now Incapable of conjuring up a picture of La Belle Epoque, have

decreed that if the word is used on official communications it must henceforth be spelled gai. The French form is, apparently, as yet uncontorted. Book-finding

ZEALOUSLY clearing out old books, a Hornby man also ditched some of his daughter’s childhood favourites — without consulting her. She was livid. How dare he? For the sake of peace and quiet he at once contacted the Theatre Royal organisers responsible for collecting tomes for the book sale at the theatre on October 31. Too late: the books, including the childhood treasures, had already gone to the theatre’s warehouse to join thousands of others. No-one could possibly find them. The man’s distress moved Mrs Marlene Borgfeldt to

at least try. Miraculously, the carton was found after a long search among the piles of prose and returned to fretting daughter. Spitting images THE old Empire Hotel, in Hokitika, one of the many which once adorned Revell Street, has long departed into history. But its stem stand on unsociable behaviour by patrons is maintained by the sprawling New World supermarket, part of which occupies the former Empire site. A sign at the checkouts indicates that not only smoking is forbidden, but also spitting and chewing tobacco. There must still be some wild men in them thar hills.

Crystall-ball

gazing...

Motion v. motions ADVICE for people cultivating soft drink bottles on lawns to deter dogs: do

not stand the bottles up; lie them down so that the water inside slops around more. It is supposedly this motion that confounds hounds.

PREDICTIONS by a clairvoyant, Tom Wards, on December 26 last year, flopped, rather. In the “Australian Post,” he foretold a New Zealand Labour Party defeat at the polls and after a very hot summer he saw “a hard winter, with deep snow falling where it has not been seen before in New Zealand.” Still, there are 106 days left in the year for the fulfilment of his other fantasies, such as a senior New Zealand businessman being charged with selling weapons and ammunition to a foreign country; and

a sniper running amuck in a Napier shopping centre, killing three people.

... not so sootb

CLAIRVOYANTS seem to be careful to hedge bets and to predict the predictable. Other events forecast for 1987 in the "Australian Post” are conveniently vague: “There’ll be increasing friction between New Zealand and the United States, and trouble balancing imports, and exports, with embargoes on some goods,” claimed Mr Wards in 1986. He also foresaw “many cyclones and floods around the world in coming months,” and a train smash. Quite possible. But prize for his most probable prophecy: “We’ll hear ' more of former Prime Minister Sir Robert Muldoon..

—Jenny Feltham