Survey of alibis workers trot out

Press, 28 February 1986, Page 29

Survey of alibis workers trot out

NZPA-AP New York Most workers explain their tardiness or absence with prosaic tales of dead batteries, missed trains or common colds. But from a creative minority come explanations such as, “I thought Halloween was a holiday or,” someone stole one of my shoes on the bus.”

One hundred executives of America’s 1000 largest companies were asked in a survey to describe some of the more unusual alibis they had heard. “We’re not talking about standard reasons,” said Robert Half, whose employment company commissioned the survey. Some examples:

• Suddenly, the doors of the armoured car in front of me opened up, and $lO bills (notes) started flying out, causing a traffic jam. • I ate so much during my holiday that none of my clothes would fit me, so I had to spend the morning having them altered.

• I was having break-

fast at a coffee shop when I fell asleep at the table. The waitress didn’t wake me up until 9.30 a.m.

Employees seemed partial to blaming, other people for their absence or tardiness, as in “my husband forgot where he parked our car after he came home from his office party last night and my six-year-old son set all the clocks back an hour.”

Some stooped to blaming dumb animals (my parakeet spoke for the first time, so I waited for him to do it again so I could tape record it). Of man’s best friend: “The dog got hold of my toupee and hid it somewhere in* the basement.” Other forms of life were also accused of causing delays. “I spotted what looked like a flying saucer, and I followed it on the highway for about 50 miles,” reported one tardy employee. “I still don’t know what it was.”

A similar spirit of scientific inquiry was cited by another worker, who told

the boss that “I didnt get any sleep the last couple of nights, because I stayed up looking for Halley’s Comet.”

As might be expected, the supernatural is not unusual in these tales. “My astrologer warned me not to come to work before noon on Wednesday,” explained one.

The brazen is never far away, either, as in the case of the unfortunate employee who explained: “I had to take my grandfather to a baseball game.”

James Thomas of Burke Marketing Research of Cincinnati, which did the survey, could not answer the most obvious question raised by the excuses — did anyone believe them?

His excuse: it wasn’t on the questionnaire;

But half said most bosses were not stupid, and he offered some advice to the tardy and truant: “Sometimes, if a weird thing really did happen, you’re better off not saying anything."