Susan goes to high school..

Press, 30 January 1986, Page 16

Susan goes to high school..

“Susan is looking forward to coming here. She feels she’s not a child any more and she hopes to be treated differently from primary school.”

“I’m a bit concerned about Nick because he’s young for his age. But he’s looking forward to all the sports he’ll be able to do.” “I think the size of the school is a bit frightening. My daughter is also worried because she thinks she might get some flak because she’s been to a private school. But we chose here because it’s co-ed.”

‘A group of about 30 parents are sharing their own and their children’s hopes and fears about starting high school at the first of two workshops organised for the parents of new entrants

by Burnside High School’s Working Together programme. As group leader David Matthews explains, "This evening’s session is called a workshop because you do the work. We’ve found that’s more helpful than us talking at you, and steering you in certain directions. One of the benefits is that you hear about other parents’ concerns and find you’re not quite as alone as you thought.” Breaking into smaller groups, each with a leader, the parents then share their feelings about their children — what they like about them, their present strengths and weaknesses, and how they give them encouragement. Most are positive, although find something

some have devised ingenious methods of encouragement. Looking to the future, they try and picture the kind of person they would like their child to be on leaving school, the concerns they have for them over the coming years, and how they see their own role changing. Concerns about peer group pressure, drugs, the

prospect of unemployment, and boy-girl relationships interfering with study all surface quickly. Some parents with older children describe how they are coping. The leader, a guidance counsellor, is sympathetic and generally reassuring: “There is something you can do about peer group pressure — you can keep communications open ... Not a lot of pairing off occurs at this school, far less than when I was at school in fact. The kids are surprisingly group conscious ...

The session ends with homework being handed out. This, the leader insists, is an important part of the workshop: it is the workshop’s link with the young person starting school, and an opportunity

for parents to discuss tough topics in a structured way in their own family setting. For some parents, it will be the first time they have ever (Structured a family discussion on any issue. i

They are asked to rank in order of importance to them ten ' things that people in life, such as success, happiness, health, friendship; then to guess their teenager’s list of priorities.! The teenager does the same. A second list ranks qualities looked for in a friend, such as honesty, reliability, being modern. The family! then comes together to discuss the lists and guesses and why they think .there may be differences ■ and similarities. '

The homework will be

discussed at the second workshop, when parents will also get an opportunity to look back at their own schooling, their positive and negative feelings about it, and how these feelings affect their attitude to their child’s schooling. They will also discuss the role of the school and coping with problems, as well as commenting on their feelings about the workshops themselves.

David Matthews says 60 to 70 per cent of the parents of new entrants are now coming to these workshops. “The numbers increase each year because parents feel the school is willing to listen and they all have something in common. Parents are in as much need of help and reassurance as their child.”