Random reminder

Press, 19 August 1983, Page 26

Random reminder

SPEECHLESS Although she can easily resist chocolates, fried frog legs or worm fritters irrespective of their high protein contents, when it comes to horse, sheep or flowl manure she is hooked. No wonder her flowers and her vegetables grow exceptionally well. Her husband has never been a gardener, although he definitely can tell a rose from a carnation. During all their 50 years of marriage, as long as he had his books, his model railways, his three good meals a day, he never regretted not to have to cut the lawns, dig the garden or plant cabbages. She doesn’t interfere with his trains running along in their spare room, he doesn’t interfere with her gardening. A perfect marraige between railway enthusiast and gardening addict, always built on honesty and utter trust — or nearly always. The other day when she was driving to the shopping centre she saw on a gate this notice: “Horse manure for sale. ?1 a bag.” She couldn’t stop the car quickly enough. The friendly man lifted a heavy bag of manure into the boot. “Oh, I’ll have another bag!” The same procedure. Why not a third bag, she thought Same procedure. She gave the man ?4.

“Froget about the change,” she said in a mood of generosity. “I’d rather have another bag.” All four bags fitted into the boot. Just. She put the Ud down tight and drove off to do her shopping, the thought of her beautifully-growing flowers and vegetables filling her with gladness. Suddenly a grave doubt assailed her. How to tell her husband who always was so fussy with his car? Its polish was far more important to him than that of his own shoes. But then a comforting thought occurred to her. Their grandson could lift the bags out of the boot when he came the next day. Her husband need never know a thing about this manure. But the grandson couldn’t come. During the next five days the four bags drove with them through town, to the shops, to a visit to the home of friends, to the beach. The following Saturday her husband suggested a drive to an orchard to buy apples. He got three empty cases from the shed: “Hl put them into the boot,” he called out to her

THE BOOT! she panicked. Prepared for a terrible outburst, she stood beside him. He opened the boot and when he saw all these bulging bags and a thick brown liquid oozing onto the garage floor, words failed him.