N.Z. from hotel room

Press, 21 August 1982, Page 13

N.Z. from hotel room

I Review-

Ken Strongman

A rapid way for visitors to gain an impression of a country is to sample its television. How would New Zealand fare if the unwary visitors were to spend ah evening tip-toeing through the local programmes? Take last Tuesday, not a typical evening. It began with “New Zealand Rugby Greats." in which four aficionados rabbit on and on and on. It could win a prize as the most tedious programme ever. Who watches it at 5.30? Just the occasional housebound hooker, flaked out flanker and ageing lock who has long since lost his key. New Zealand rugby grates all right.

Then "Blankety Blank" in which the title' is an apt description of the minds of those who take part. David Halls without his other-half has the mildly distraught manner of a Scotsman without his sporran. This week, one contestant was described as a retired weapons engineer. Retired weapons? Perhaps he works for the New Zealand Army. The aim of the game is to fill in sentences and match responses to those of unknown celebrities. All for the possibility of winning a dream sewing machine or a consolation electric navel defluffer.

The “6.30 News" provided a pithy overview of what is currently important in New Zealand society. Our Minister of Foreign Affairs is worried about being ganged

up on by black Africans. The means test is to be reinstated as part of post-Budget social services tinkering. Cook Strait ferries are back to normal, however briefly, and the railways are being shaken up. wooing travellers by cutting services. There was tax (the take is up again), alcoholism (up again) and abortion (up again). Mention was made of the police, two headless skeletons (drugs). H.A.R.T;, aluminium, smoking and electro-convulsive therapy. There was but one cultural item featuring an opera opening in Auckland. This appeared only because the visiting David Hemery once performed in it. “The Mainland Touch” was rather more positive. Teachers’ College, farmers fighting the drought with questionnaires, a bike accident, the Salvation Army and an innovative field toilet in Blenheim. There was also an item concerning the teaching of remedial reading to the retarded.

Following this insight into the realities of the NewZealand existence, were two programmes which provide a legitimised means of poking

kea-like beaks into other people's lives. “Close to Home" shows a life of booze, intricate family affairs, 'raised voices, and intense relationships. The young and the restless and the old and the cynical make innuendo as subtle as the Sex Pistols. Mature and somber reflection makes one look back on the “Rugby Greats" with something approaching affection.

Then “Fair Go.” the programme which has quite unnecessarily turned real problems into light entertainment. Its popularity is comment enough. This week's items took a variety of forms, but when one came down to it were mainly about money. Some of us don't have enough and others are trying to siphon away what we have.

“Eyewitness News" did not

add much to the earlier coverage: Commonwealth Games, censorship. Miss New Zealand and a thoroughly pointless and ugly analysis of human relationships conducted in an American approximation to English. Finally, the New Zealand evening was rounded off by "On the Mat." about which one has oft waxed lyrical. What an impression our visitors will have formed. Rugby, brainless parlour games, money, news about drugs, alcohol, smoking, abortion. E.C.T.. medics, policemen and sport. Two enormous eavesdrops, one fictional, the other apparently not and then stylised brutality in the ring. If they are not back on the plane by now. the hotel telly must have been on the blink. Mind you. wherever they go next could well be worse.