Rude guide for travel

Press, 6 September 1980, Page 17

Rude guide for travel

Travelling: An Entertainment. By Bob Jones. Whitcoulls, 1980. 256 pp. $12.95.

(Reviewed by

Naylor Hillary)

. Bob Jones claims to have a million miles of air travel behind him. In his highly personal account of 20 years whisking round the world he also lays claim, to remarkable and entertaining adventures in such unlikely places as Lebanon, Afghanistan, and the Brazilian jungle. Behind him there must also be a trail of insulted hotel managers, waiters, customs officials and airline -staff. Showering insults seems to be what he does best, and' takes most pride in. His reflections here on Air New Zealand and some of its staff will make readers wonder if he will ever have the courage to fly again on his national airline. On the other hand, his praise for railway staff (Jones is in love with trains) will make readers wonder whether he has ever really, had any dealings with New Zealand Railways. Packed among the travellers’ tales is a wealth of sensible, practical information on such matters as health ‘care abroad, dealing with lost luggage and poor .service (generally, be as rude as possible), and Watching small but important points such as the similarity in jr, appearance . of different denominations of American banknotes. India gets special treatment. Jones has fallen in love with a country which he regards as the last really exotic experience for travellers. Not that. India escapes his ridicule and rudeness, but he preaches that to arrive there in “a state of tolerance for all contingencies” will pay handsome dividends.. .

Much of the book is taken up with matters of air travel, not least the author’s appreciation of the first class section and his belief that as. few other people as possible should be admitted there. Readers who have flown first class will heartily agree, especially as service in “economy” or “tourist” seems to have declined over the years, along w-ith the civility of the other passengers. Jones is out to outrage. He succeeds, and manages to delight at the same time. But one anecdote he tells concerning an air hostess and a pilot on an internal flight in New Zealand many years ago is both silly, and almost certainly untrue. Such stories, once in print (and Jones does not claim first-hand knowledge of the events), get quoted back interminably to busy cabin crew by would-be humorist passengers. They can make life , a misery for air hostesses. Jones comes up with enough substantial abuse.and humour to fling at those who'have helped him travel. The tale of the spilt cups, of tea diminishes an otherwise- diverting book.