Reporter's Diary

Press, 29 November 1979, Page 2

Reporter's Diary

Here, too VORACIOUS carpet-eating insects have surfaced in a house near Christchurch, perhaps the first larvae of the brown house moth to appear in the South Island. The owner is distraught. She says the carpet is woollen and was sold three years ago as moth-proof. She telephoned the Wool Board in Wellington and w r as asked to send samples of the larvae and the carpet — a blue-green one whose colour the little transparent grubs appear to absorb. The Wool Board will send them off to Britain for

identification. It has told the owner that in the meantime it will send her some insecticde that might keep them at bay. What alarmed the carpet’s owner (she does not want to be identified in case the insects spread and she is blamed) is that the damage has been done all over her $2OOO carpet, not just at the edges. “They look like little maggots,” she said disgustedlv. She hopes that the Wool Board will stand by its recent offer on television to compensate owners of “moth proofed” carpets. Fluffed her line A VERY shapely girl reporter of "The Press,” on her way to a holiday in New Caledonia, drew appreciative “Oo la la’s” from two handsome Frenchmen on the aircraft. They appeared impressed by the French phrase which decorated the contours of her T-shirt. But when they addressed a question to her in French (an inquiry, in all probability, about the pen of her aunt) she was so flustered by their hot Gallic glances that she gasped, “I’m sorry, I don’t speak English.” To her dismay the Frenchmen retreated from the encounter and spent the rest of the journey discussing the meaning of her oblique remark.

Mayday heyday’ A SMALL hotel in the Dordogne, in France, has this notice displayed in its rooms: “In the event of fire, the visitor, avoiding panic, is to walk down the corridor and warm the chambermaid.”

Playpig of the Month FORGET about the flesh parades of “Playboy” and “Penthouse”; the calendar that everyone is rushing to buy in the United States today is the Miss Piggy Calendar, 1980. The femme fatale of the Muppet Show is portrayed in all her porky ' voluptuousness in' scenes from her favourite fantasies. Kermit the Frog (“my Kermie”) hops in and out of her piggy dreams, and her other heroes, Rudolf Valentino and Rudolf Nureyev, figure among the more memorable dates. October 18, 1977, was the day that “Miss Piggy sang duet in steam bath with Rudolf Nureyev.” Her dreams include a scene where King Kong is carrying her up the Enipirg State sky-

scraper, while Kermit flies his little single-seater to the rescue. In. another, a trio of frogs worship the goddess of the pigsty in a jungle clearing. He slugged 'em “THEY loved me,” said Norman Gunston (real name Garry McDonald) when Australian reporters asked their home-grown comedian how he went down in New Zealand. “They took to me like a slug to lettuce.” The little Aussie bleeder is now preparing an Australian concert tour, to be called “Norman’s Christmas Party.” Question of timing THERE was a time when parents killed the fatted calf on the return of the

prodigal son. Admittedly, that was some time ago, but should parental duty and feelings have changed so much over the centuries? We think particularly of the young Christchurch man who arrived unexpectedly at his parents’ house the other day, fresh from a long sojourn in Australia. He burst in;o the living room, fully expecting to be welcomed with open arms — only to be cautioned, “Sssh. We’re listening to the last race from Trentham.”