Winds of protest swirl around Broccoli II

Press, 27 January 1979, Page 14

Winds of protest swirl around Broccoli II

By

A. K. GRANT

There is mounting apprehension in San Diego, California, about the chaos which may ensue in San Diego Harbour tomorrow when the New Zealand yacht Broccoli II attempts to enter the harbour A protest squadron of eight American nuclear submarines is going to attempt to prevent the Broccoli II from mooring. The commander of the protest squadron, LieutenantCommander Erdman Herdman 111, gave the reasons for the protest to “Pony” Biers, our reporter on the spot.

“These yachts are peskv little critturs.” he said. “They flit about on the surface of the ocean, darting hither and yon, instead of sailing round the globe underwater like us nuclear submarines do. They often capsize. They are far too unstable to use as the launching platform for a nuclear missile, and of course they are utterlv dependent on wind Yachts use up the world’s precious reserves of wm.d at a spendthrift rate. Whereas us nuclear subs leave the wind to blow free in the hair of the world’s free peoples. “And look at the danger that wind can do. It’s a mighty unstable and dangerous source of power. Hurricanes, tvnhoons, tornadoes, whirlwinds — I mean look what happened to Darwin and then ask yourself whether ycht would like a veh’de using wind power moored in the centre of your city.

“I am sorry to have to tell you, Mr Biers,” the Lieutenant-Commander went on, “that the other reason why we are protesting about the entry of Broccoli II to San Diego is because it comes from your warlike country. In a few short years you New Zealanders have ruined an Olympic Games and insulted the President of the United States by calling him a peanut farmer, and a New Zealand lawyer has thrown out the Government of the Cook Islands. We are peaceable men in the nuclear submarine fleet, and we wish to dissociate ourselves from such an aggressive and hostile Pacific Power.” Lieutenant • Commander Herdman explained the

methods which the submarine squadron will employ. “We thought at first that we might simply nuke the yacht with one of our missiles as it entered the harbour,” he said. “But those missiles cost money, and anyway the resulting nuclear explosion could have a damaging effect on surrounding property values. Then we thought we might ram it, but our electronics men told us that there is so much delicate equipment packed into the hull of a nuclear submarine that the slightest bump might trigger off World War 111. “Not that we would mind that of course, we’re ready for it, but I’m damned if I’m going to go to war over a wind-powered coracle with a wooden rudder. So eventually we settled for a protest squadron of eight nuclear submarines: The Haddo, the Goodbye, the Truxtun, the Truxedo. the Nautilus, the Waterless, the Mortarless and the Daughterless.

We propose to accompany the Broccoli II to its mooring, getting as close to it as we can, and endeavouring, without loss of life, to suck it into our propellors.” The skipper of the Broccoli 11, told Mr Biers by radio that his crew were undaunted by the prospect they would face as they approached their mooring in San Diego Harbour. “We think it is a pretty poor show when allies of America can’t sail their yachts into American harbours,” said “Blue” Moon, the Broccoli H’s skipper. “We come in peace, and although it is true that we are wind-powered, I would point out that the wind which will assist us to our berth is American wind, made available to us by courtesy of the San. Diego Harbour Board and Mutual Society of Arts.” Go be concluded on Monday)