Random reminder

Press, 26 August 1977, Page 21

Random reminder

I’REASURE TROVE

He is not exactly endowed with an embarrassing abundance of hair in these days of lurking middle age; and his figure had more in common with a pear than with 'he washboard-bellied Neu Elizabethan soldier-poet he still sometimes glimpses swimming into view, but out of reach, on the bottom of one of the glasses of beer that have wrought this havoc with what he has been known to assure friends, despite their snorts of derision and obvious winks to each other (which they may well think he hasn’t noticed, but which, it must now go on record, he has, but I digress, so just watch it. that’s all), that his was once among the finest athletic bodies to grace a rugby paddock. She is. after two children, not, er, quite as curvaceous as he once was — and before the shock troops of the women’s liberation movement unsheath then retractable razor-edged steel fingernails and reach for the Croxley to dash off threats and complaints, let us hasten to say that

her lack of. er. curves these days are recognised by both of them a> being natural and, in its own way, really rather wonderful. After a!!, a curvaceous female body is not necessary for a happe marriage and only a pig of a chauvinist would consider it worthy of thought. (A colour television isn’t necessary for happiness either; but colour televisions are rather nice, aren’t they?). They are happily married, but both possess a combative sense of humour. not to put too fine a point on it. and. at times of, er. banter, sha!> we say, references to similarities between his head and a lightly-fringed snooker ball and between her figure and a pipe cleaner have been known to fall among the hirepurchase shagpile in their arena, er. home. He happened to be passing a novelty shop recently, not long after a paritcularly deft interchange of deprecatorv banter in which he had heen compared to a light bulb on stilts when he spotted a huge pair cl

tie-on piastu no»oms. Now he has little admiration for the •-ort of joke props used by the more tartan-suited breed of travelling salesman to secure a sale; but he had been stung, and here was ample ammunition for a counter-attack. He bought the plastic bosoms and presented them to his wife, who laughed uproariously (and no doubt planned her riposte. which appeared a few days later in the form of a tea-caddy for his head). The plastic bosoms were soon forgotten. put in the shed with some other household bric-a-brac. A few days ago, she was preparing her son for school when she found she could not close the case in which he takes his lunch. She opened it to find the plastic bosoms. Her six-year-old explained that he had found “that thing” tn the shed and he was taking it to school because it was his turn to give a talk to the class and he thought it would be an interestin’ subject.