RANDOM REMINDER

Press, Volume CXII, Issue 32958, 3 July 1972, Page 17

RANDOM REMINDER

CRIMSON LANGUAGE

There would be relatively few home handymen —and those who are not so handy—who have not uttered a half-suppressed expletive when something has temporarily gone awry with the hammer, the hacksaw, the soldering iron or a sense of proportion. Some would reach a higher decibel recording than others —it’s all so much a case of the temper, and the temperament, of the person involved. Opinion among those who study human conduct strongly suggests that this temporary letting-off of steam acts as some sort of safety valve. At times the outlet must invariably get blocked. Many a motorist must sometimes inwardly curse at the fellow ahead of him, on a congested main highway, for his inconsiderate

driving. And mull over the fact that the chap ahead of him is the type of person who likes to sit in the front seat of a bus, the back seat in church —and occupy the middle of the road. Within the ranks of commerce there are sometimes words tossed about the place which are as yet undefined by Webster. There is a somewhat irascible accountant in the city who uses plenty of them. He recently buzzed for his ledger keeper to come into nis office and shook his fist at him furiously. “See this 3—it looks like a b"**** 5!” His subordinate pointed

out that it was, in fact, a 5.

“Then why in h***,” the tyrannical boss roared, “does it b***** well look like a 3?”

But those associated with the tonsorial art also have their moments—and their memories. One, who is still in business in the city, recalls the occasion some years ago when he had an apprentice on his staff who did his first shaving assignment. What with inherent nervousness and the fact that he had been “out with the boys” the night before, caused him to shake like an aspen leaf. He nicked his customer in several places. Even the styptic stick he bought into action failed to staunch the flow of blood. He asked, solicitously, if the customer, now half out of his chair, would like his head wrapped in a hot towel. “ ,” said the aggrieved one, “I’ll carry the ruddy thing home under my arm.”