How To Behave In The 1970s

Press, Volume CX, Issue 32321, 12 June 1970, Page 2

How To Behave In The 1970s

Since no-one has yet invented a successful device which shows the face of a telephone caller, it is fair enough to master | some kind of technique for dodging bores, bullies, and badgerers. i

Two London journalists, Anne Edwards and Drusilla Beyfus, recommend “putting Granny” on the receiving end.

They suggest, when you are suspicious, answering with a quavery voice, pretending not to hear properly the name asked for, and that you say emphatically that “no-one of that name lives here."

Effectively done, “Granny’s” voice leaves no doubt in the mind of the caller.

This hint, is given in “Lady Behave: A Guide to Modern Manners for the 19705,” an up-dated edition of a similar book the same authors published so successfitly in 1956. This piece of telephone ad-

vice is merely one light aside in the authors’ modern concept of etiquette. The 361page reference book treats the matter of manners Seriously. “The difference between now and 10 years ago is. not so much a loosening of formulas as a further softening of censure towards those who do not. conform,”, they say. Britain’s “classless society has, in many of its aims, become synonymous with a middle-class society, nowhere is this more clearly reflected than in a record of social form, they say. Hardly Disturbed The mood of Bohemian egalitarianism, which was • a threat (or a promise) at the end of World War 11, has not yet gathered sufficient force to disturb the reigning pattern of social behaviour. Tolerance and permissiveness may point to a modern society which is so informal that the very idea of a code of etiquette seems a jpke. But informality needs signposts as much as the most conservative behaviour, Hence the slim volume the authors set out to produce as a follow-up to their first guide to good manners finished up much the fatter book. The authors found that more and more people have become involved in more social events. More people are meeting Royalty, for instance.

“Keen Wind” The keenest wind which has cut through conventions comes from the attitude of young people with their insistence on utter candour towards all people, the authors found. But the Old Guard still has its influence on social form and cannot be ignored. Misses Edwards and Beyfuns originally embodied the sticklers for absolute for • reality in their character, Captain Fogey. In their new edition, they have promoted him to the rank of brigadier, because “this champion of so much outdated etiquette is reaching retirement age.” Nevertheless, they allow his views to project from time to time, into the 19705. Common Sense

The authors’ advice on what to do where is based on common sense and a consideration for others.

On dressing they say: “Possibly the only bad manners involved in what a woman wears is when she looks as if she has not taken any trouble with her clothes.

although other people have.: The criterion these days is • personal taste and whatever the wearer looks best in.” Trousers Women in trousers will soon be accepted everywhere, they believe, holding to the view that the real reason why they are still being banned in certain places Is that men prefer girls in mini skirts. On speech: “When the man who dropped. aitches became Foreign Minister and scattered his aspirates with a bang all over the radio like Ernie Bevin, it was a social mile-, stone,” the authors say. “Ac-[ cents matter far less than they did, because more people accept others as they are.” ‘ But for anyone who is sen-! sitive about his pronunciation' they recommend acquiring' what they call a “standard, classless TV announcer’s Eng- : lish”—a passport to anywhere., To girls going boating: i "Cabin cruisers are tho-: roughly unsafe. If she protests that her bunk is only two feet away from his in the only cabin, his line is that she is just a landlubber and that this bunking down together is absolutely shipshape afloat.”

“Debrett-Level” “Lady Behave” is packed with useful guidelines on giving parties, on taking part in the “grand life,” on sharing a flat, marriage and a job, writing formal letters, moving at the “Debrett-level,” and on how to cope with social crises, such as getting caught with a mouthful of scalding soup.

Whether readers wish to find out how to comfort themselves in the “right way,” to bend conventions a little, or to be "trendy” in their manners they will find what they want quickly through a detailed index.

"Lady Behave,” published by Cassell, London, makes delightful reading. Anyone will get a laugh out of it Many, no doubt will take a tip or two from it to their next social outing.