Individuality, Not Equality, Needed

Press, Volume CIX, Issue 32234, 28 February 1970, Page 2

Individuality, Not Equality, Needed

(Bv XOSALEEN O’DONOHVE) i Instead of all this tiresome talk about the role of women and equality of the sexes, why can’t we make the 1970 s the decade of the individual? There is no doubt that the traditional pattern of man as i the bread-winner and woman ias the homemaker is changi ing—the female work force is (becoming an important factor in the economy of many ■ countries—but the family unit is still the basis of our society. We live in a so-called “eni lightened” age. Therefore, women should have the right to choose whether they want to work or not. Co-operation is the key for the 1970 s if there is to be complete fulfilment for both men and women. The sexes should learn a little from each other. The transfer of some of the qualifies of each sex would make the world a better place to five in and we could all be (judged upon our merits as human beings, regardless of gender. Welcome Step A recent report from the I International Council of Women concerning the “confused” image of the female is disturbing. The council’s ; wish to see the traditional : image of women as mothers and home-makers restored—but combined with the new concept of the career woman (participating in civic and (political life—is a welcome step. One speaker at the recent world conference said: "We I no longer know what the real woman is.” Is this the price women have •to pay for ■ emancipation? The trouble in the past .with (women’s rights is that they have been wrong for many women. Suffrage has brought suffering in its wake. Housewives are being made to feel guilty if they are happy at (home making Pavlovas, prei serving fruit mothering i their children, or doing the garden. They are urged to iget but and join conflnittees.

get a job, re-educate themselves, stop being a cabbage, in short, to "participate.” ( The fact that some women find marriage far more absorbing than a boring job in an office or factory is never considered. Nor is it ‘magined that some husbands may actually enjoy coming home from work to hear about home activities and what the children have been up to. It is high time this group of “born home-makers” (and there is still such a breed)

stood up for themselves against the self-appointed experts who describe them as suffering from such complaints as “suburban neurosis,” “stagnation,” “boredom,” and “lacking mental stimulation.”

Of course, with more liberal thinking and better education for girls, the number who prefer to stay at home when they marry is dwindling. Large numbers of women have elected to express their individuality, to get out and take their rightful place among men in employment and public affairs. This is as it should be. But( why all the outbursts about equality? Equal pay for i equal work, certainly, but doj men and women truly think they can be equal in all things? Is this what they really want? Mrs and Miss New Zealand, before you lose your true identity, face up to the fact that equality of the sexes is a myth, and aim instead for 00-operation. Only then will a battle as fatal and as futile as the Vietnam war be avoided. Sex is biologically deter-

mined, but this does not mean that boys should not have some of the so-called “feminine” characteristics—gentleness, tenderness, sensitivity, compassion, understanding of, and involvement | with, people rather than just with things—or that girls should not learn to have a spirit of adventure, courage, self-expression, independence, or self-confidence. These traits should not be labelled “masculine” or “feminine,” but “human.” They are not necessarily born in a person but acquired i like social and cultural knowledge. Our roles should not be [rigidly determined for us. | They should be flexible and a result of mutual. co-opera-tion—not only in domesticity —according to the particular situation in which a husband and wife find themselves. Then there will be no reason tor predicting the “unisex marriage”—man and wife working a half-day each and sharing the household duties. Few people would find this idea feasible anyway. Government and civic authorities will have to help (and they are starting to already) to make it easier for women with children to go out to work. I The National Development Council has made recommendations on the need tor research into refresher courses and retraining facilities tor women returning to work after some years absence from the labour force. The subject came up at a meeting of the council this week. The Minister of Finance (Mr Muldoon), facing the fact that the sexes are different, said many aspects of labour, legislation regarding women were historically intended for the protection of women, not discrimination against them. It is a thought not lightly to be disregarded. Individuals A woman member of the council, Mrs R. K. Dell, very rightly pointed out that both men and women wanted to be treated as individuals. Surely we can be regarded on our merits rather than lumped together as members of a particular sex? The time has come for women—and men, too—to give up the losing battle for equality of the sexes, to forget about the woman’s place and the man's role, and to compete to the best of their ability in the fields of their choice, as individuals. Only then can women make use of what are wrongly regarded as “masculine” qualities without being aggressive, and men be tender and sympathetic without fear of being labelled “sissies.”