Conscience The Gatecrasher

Press, Volume CIX, Issue 32216, 7 February 1970, Page 10

Conscience The Gatecrasher

(By

WHIM WHAM)

An American sociologist says cocktail parties are twentieth century versions of sacrificial rituals. Professor D. J. Pittman says that the use of alcohol in sacrificial rituals among primitive tribes was an attempt by man to absolve his conscience for the evil he directed to his fellow men.—News. Fix me another Cocktail, My Conscience needs a Drink, A Jigger of Scotch, or Bourbon, And let the Ice-cubes clink! They’re not for a common Kick, Sir, The Cocktails that I take, I drink for my Soul’s Comfort, I do it for Conscience’s Sake. Mix me another Martini, Strong and Dry as You can, Not for Fun, but the Wrong I’ve done Against my Fellow Man, And to make my Peace with Conscience, These Olives are symbolic, The Spirit in Which I nibble Them Isn’t only Alcoholic. Just One more Gin and Tonic, I’ve told you What it’s for. Do you think I’ve got no Conscience About our Asian War? Our Evil, huge Investment, For a Nil Return of Good, Brandy, Sir, for the Conscience Sick with All that Blood! Sherry (Sweet) for the Ladies, Beer for the White All Black, A Conscience that’s ADULT, Sir, Has no such easy Knack, By a Long Shot! With a strong Shot, Can It absolve Itself, Till the Ice melts in the Ice-bowl, And the Bottle’s dead on the Shelf?,