Sleeping In Parents* Beds

Press, Volume CIX, Issue 32020, 21 June 1969, Page 12

Sleeping In Parents* Beds

Sir,—Although I agree partly with Nell Thomas about the older child who seems to make a habit of sleeping with his parents when he can, I was shocked at the suggestion that “the baby who is sheltered in his parents’ bedroom for his first year is off to a bad start.” My second child, due soon, is going to spend his “first night home in bis mother’s bedroom.” There he will stay, as close to me as possible, where I feel very strongly he

should be, until my maternal instincts (probably not as strong and reliable as I hope, thanks to our being so civilised) will let me feel he is ready to be shunted into a room of his own. Our toddler who has spent a few "siek” nights in our bedroom, comes into our bed each morning about six, a habit we all enjoy immensely. He seems to be making a pretty satisfactory effort "to look the world in the eye.”—Yours, etc., RXG. June 20, 1969.

Sir,—The arbitrary regulations laid down by your contributor, Neil Thomas, often annqy me. Thursday’s article drives me to protest I happen to agree with his opening point, that it is unwise to allow a four-year-old to displace a parent from the parental bed. I would never offer this opinion to anybody without immediately explaining why I think so. Neil Thomas’s only given reason is that independence should be taught to children. Obviously this principle can never stand alone. If it could, the ideal parents would abandon their children from birth. He goes on to pronounce that it is bad for a new-born infant not to be confined to its own room. This is nonsense. Please eould you find a writer who will clearly offer some points for parents to consider. Goods and bads thundering down as though from Mount Sinai are out of place in our day and age.—Yours, etc., B.P.C, June 19, 1969. .

Sir,—As a mother of 20 years standing, I would like to reassure young parents constantly bombarded with expert theories on bringing up children. I have broken most of the rules—baby’s cot in parents room, baby fed in mother’s bed, all children comforted there after nightmares, a night light left on if asked for, and bottoms spanked when mum or dad lost their tempers! The result is six healthy, affectionate independent children and a mother with hardly a grey hair. New parents should take heart; all they need is. love and common sense. How many of the “experts” have personal experience in bringing up a family on a moderate income, with no domestic help and no time off?—Yours, etc., MOTHER OF SIX June 20, 1969.