Loneliness Among Young Wives

Press, Volume CVII, Issue 31382, 30 May 1967, Page 2

Loneliness Among Young Wives

“Young marrieds”, who form the bulk of New Zealand’s “shifting population,” seem to lack ties and wives particularly are often very lonely. Membership of a Young Wives’ group could give them a sense of belonging, Mrs Barbara Eaton, the Dominion chairman of the Young Wives’ organisation, said yesterday.

“Each group needs a dedicated core of young women who can bring in those who would benefit from the opportunity to mix and talk with their peers. Although Young Wives’ is sponsored by the Anglican Church we have no rules of membership any wife with children still at primary school can join,” she said.

Mrs Eaton will be joining with the Rev. J. Vincent, vicar of St James’ parish, and Mr R. E. Walton, of the Christian Education Department in the Dunedin diocese, to lead a residential school for 106 South Island Young Wives’ members. Mrs Joyce Manning, deputy chairman of the Christchurch diocese, will chair the two day school which opens at Glentui today. Difficult Role “Married women have much more difficulty in fulfilling their role today, for as well as being good wives and mothers they are urged, and many want, to have outside interests,” she said.

“Marriage is quite different

today. Women are used to being independent, many are earning as much money as men. For those who are educated and used to having a good job it’s often frustrating to be tied with children for many years.

"It’s not that they don’t love the children, but they feel their minds are stagnating." Participating in Young Wives’ programmes was a form of group therapy. Its greatest benefit was its opportunity for “self-help.” Much was learnt from guest speakers, but members particularly valued discussions held among themselves. Mrs Eaton considers New Zealand’s increasing involvement with “the outside world” is causing young mothers considerable concern. Causing Concern “We are no longer isolated and they are worried about the world in which their children will have to grow up. They want to know how to cope with the many difficulties which occur in bringing up a child today,” said Mrs Eaton. While the Young Wives’ sphere of interest was mainly concerned with younger children, guidance in those years helped greatly with problems encountered in adolescence.

These problems will be embraced in the school’s theme

“To Know and to Grow.” Group discussions, Covering the “whole realm of human relationships,” will be aimed at helping members to “understand each other and live together in groups.” The participants would be able to relate reactions and activities within their group to those within the family and the community. The questions to be discussed were formed from 40 questions sent in from the three South Island dioceses. The questions vary from religious matters to husband and wife relationships and a woman’s opportunity for fulfilment beyond her role as a wife and mother.