RANDOM REMINDER

Press, Volume CI, Issue 29931, 19 September 1962, Page 22

RANDOM REMINDER

EXERCISE FLAMETHROWER

We had a letter in the mail the other day, and after the excitement had subsided a little, we were able to read it. It went thus.— ’’Your women’s page this morning contains an interesting article on a sewing machine that embroiders wood. It talks about floral motifs and ‘animal motifs from a dragon to a fish.’ It goes on to mention ‘savings in time and money, and the visual effect of full-size embroidery.’ What a wonderful machine! Something dreamed up for a Random Reminder, or the winning entry in a competition for the Absolutely Useless Invention. “I don’t want to know

what use the machine really is. Let me be content with a mind’s-eye picture of a couple of carpenters in a muddy, potato-furrowed section behind a gaunt house frame, feeding yards and yards of weatherboarding into a contraption which is busily embroidering for them jig-saw puzzle bits of a full-size dragon.” The letter was signed “Professor Heath Robinson.” If we have to agree with the professor, we must say that there has always been a demand for the useless and unusual. We have, in fact, spent many hours on such projects. One of our most promising developments is the curling tong for the Orpington’s ruff,

and we are also working on some hovercraft-type shoes for the busy housewife. And we are not ignoring the need for overseas markets: well beyond the blueprint stage is the sling support for kangaroos' pouches, and a discreet deodorant for skunks is also on the way, although research was hindered when there was an unfortunate mix-up with this preparation and our new greaslese hair dressing. But we are wondering whether we shouldn’t put all these projects aside to concentrate on producing something, built on electric fire principles, to equip embroidered weatherboard dragons with realistic oral issues of flame.