DON’T ASK A POLICEMAN

Press, Volume XCVI, Issue 28346, 3 August 1957, Page 12

DON’T ASK A POLICEMAN

IBu WHIM WHAMI . There are no other laws which take so much time and money to administer as do the licensing laws . . . none so difficult and irksome to enforce ... so complex and difficult of Interpretation for the layman.—Annual report of the Controller-General of Police, Mr S T. Barnett. Sir, I think we should do Everything in our Power To help the Police to enforce the licensing Laws. Now is most decidedly, Sir, the Hour For devoting Ourselves to this deserving Cause. If I were contemplating any trifling little Crime Like robbing the Reserve Bank or the T.A.8., I think Six o’clock in the evening would be a propitious Time,The Police being so busy keeping an Eye on the Drink: No doubt Mr Barnett has this Possibility in View, So I’m taking no Chances, but still at Six o’clock (It’s only Logic) the same Sergeant can’t be in two Places at once, viz., on both Sides of the Block. And that’s not All. What about those curious Cases When Someone in the Lounge is sipping a perfectly lawfii Scotch, While some Joker in the House Bar not more than ter Paces Away is a fair Cop, convicted by his own Wrist-watch? And the exquisite Distinction, in Places, between The Time you consume and the Time you paid for th< Beer? And the naughty, naughty Restaurateurs who (one hopes: have been Taught that we don’t want the Continental Saturday here’ And the Distinction which Some seem inclined to draw (As if the Policeman’s Lot could bear an additional Teaser) Between the ordinary Joker subject to ordinary Law And the Tourist Sahib—on Production of his Visa? “Oh what a tangled Web we weave, when first We practice to deceive” Ourselves! Let’s make SOME effort to control this legislation Thirst, And spare our Police the awful hangover Head-ache!