Of Many Things

Press, Volume XCIV, Issue 28158, 22 December 1956, Page 10

Of Many Things

rpHE Walrus and his colleagues have -*■ no special influence with Father Christmas, but they hope he will do his best to deliver the presents they have chosen for those who have made news in 1956.

To Mr Holland: A framed, autographed photograph of the Prime Minister To Winston McCarthy: An Olympic Games programme or a recording oj “Silent Night.” To Mr Nash: An embroidered and framed quotation: “Hope springs eternal. ...” . . . , To Dr. Craven: Dale Carnegies book. “How To Win Friends and Influence Pe To !< the Flag Officer. Royal Yachts: A tug, two fenders, and a pot of blue Pa To‘ Mr Khrushchev: A temperance To Norman Read: A brand-new bl To ,e ' Co lo n e l Nasser: Three weeks holiday in Jamaica. . . A . To the Canterbury cricket selectors. A bran tub. , ■ , To Sir Anthony Eden: A petrol coupon. To The Walrus (from his colleagues): Two front teeth.

“17’ASY Shopping For Tired Housewives." said a headline this week. Most Christchurch housewives consulted by The Walrus just don t believe it.

HTHE Te Akau North Rabbit Board A in the Waikato has found apple and raspberry jam effective in its rabbit-poisoning operations. Some old soldiers of the First World War would say that plum and apple might be even more effective.

'T'HE Walrus is beginning to wonder just how long it will be before someone opens a four-star-olus hotel in the Antarctic. The Chilean airline, Linea Aerea Nacional. is already arranging tourist flights. New Zealand had better look to its interests in the Ross Dependency. The penguins are entitled to be consulted on the question of trust control or private enterprise in the hotel industry.

John Seddon and William Ferguson Massey were both hardworking men before they became Prime Ministers, in the opinion of on? small pupil of the Education Department’s Correspondence School. One or other of our political parties should start grooming him as a candidate now. Anyone who can say things like that about politicians when still at school obviously has a future in Parliament.

IMINES for offending pedestrians are * increased under new traffic regulations. The Walrus is certain that sooner or later one of the motoring organisations will demand a warrant of fitness for every pedestrian as a matter of general safety.

r PHE Walrus has heard that Lyttelton considers last Saturday tn be one occasion on which Britannia didn’t rule the waves.

TTR L. M. Inglis, S.M., observed during the hearing of a case in Hamilton this week that a luncheon sausage could cover a multitude of meats. And sometimes a multitude of sins

'pHE Royal Navy thinks of everything. According to one report this week there is a Fag Officer. Royal Yachts. Presumably he has to see that no cigarette butts are left lying around in H.M.Y. Britannia.

SOMETHING new in shops is reported from Sydney. It is a toyeria. As Christmas is upon us The Walrus has decided to post a slice of Christmas cake to Australia instead of his usual biscuit.

T AST week-end a Christchurch firm’s social club had more than £l2O stolen from a refrigerator where it had been placed for safety. Liquidation of frozen assets, presumably.

r PHE Walrus received yesterday from an anonymous donor a salted herring. While grateful for the gift, he is a little puzzled by the hope expressed by “A Friend” on the accompanying Christmas card that the meal will be his last before he is towed out to sea and shot.

“"OUT let it whistle as it will, we'll keep our Christmas merry still.” wrote Sir Walter Scott. So to all his friends The Walrus says: Gelukkig Kerstfeest God Jul Boldog Karacsonyi Unnepeket Buono Natale Froeliche Weinachten And specially for Dr. Craven: Gelukkige Kersmis. —The Walrus