YO HO HO AND A MOA’S EGG

Press, Volume XC, Issue 27404, 17 July 1954, Page 6

YO HO HO AND A MOA’S EGG

[By

WHIM WHAM]

The eggs of the moa were used by the Maoris to ship rum to Paris, according to an article by the American writer-naturalist, Vance Hoyt, in the monthly magazine “Mercury.” The eggs, he says, measured three feet in circumference and held two gallons. —News item. How can they tell such shocking Lies About the Moa and its Size?— And what’s an even worse Disgrace, The Slander on the Native Race! The early Maori had no Kegs, So packed their Rum in Moas’ Eggs, Two Gallons in one monstrous shell For Export overseas? Well, well! Of course the Story can’t be true: The Law would not permit them to. They had no Licences, therefore They made no Rum. And What is More, No self-respecting Moa Hen Would lend an Egg to lawless Men To keep their Te Waipiro in. —The Extinct Birds’ Association Joins with me in Consternation About Reports to this Effect, And likewise firmly we reject The other Allegations made. The average decent Moa laid A roughly pint-sized Egg, ideal For the small Family’s midday Meal; A Quart at most, from a big Bird, And NOT two Gallons, as averred. The Pyramid Valley Excavators Uncovered Nothing half so great as Mere vulgar Fallacy or Myth Had credited the Moa With: Down in the Valley, nothing stirred, Or Nothing like so vast a Bird. —Sid! Call Ambassador Munroa Upon the trans-Pacific Bloa, To put them right about the Moa! Such rumours cannot help Relations Between two great and friendly Nations.